Scott Adams: In his own words
What’s the longest you’ve ever worn a shirt backwards without knowing? I don’t mean inside-out. That happens all the time, and you can go all day like that. People might even think it’s intentional. I’m talking about backwards, where the little label in the collar ends up under your chin….
Read MoreYou might think that the various parts of your body are all on the same team. Not true. Your back, for example, hates your guts. The way you can tell that your back is evil is that it never warns you when it’s about to give you a painful, life-altering…
Read MoreOne of the downsides of interacting with other people is that they keep uncovering defects I never knew I had. For example, I recently discovered that I can’t learn to gamble. Sure, I can put coins in a slot and push a button with the best of the grizzled old…
Read MoreHere’s some more ammo to stir up things at your next gathering of inebriated relatives. Ask the following question: Who is holier – Mother Teresa or Bill Gates? Set the scene by pointing out that on Mother Teresa’s side of the ledger is her lifetime of spiritual inspiration and her…
Read MoreIn your comments to my blog about torturing terrorists, several people said we shouldn’t abandon the ideals of the Founding Fathers of the United States. So I started wondering what those ideals were. Before I go on, let me say that I’m highly patriotic, despite what you read here. Please…
Read MoreThere are many fascinating mysteries in this universe. I choose to ignore all of them and instead focus my sense of wonder on the following question: Why do female real estate agents have bizarre hairstyles? You know what I’m talking about: poofy, disturbingly large, a death rattle from the sixties….
Read MoreIf you’re reading The Dilbert Blog on Christmas day, your family probably hates you.* But that’s okay because I still love you. Have a great holiday. Or failing in that, just hold on until January. You can make it. Scott * Not counting you two, Mom and Dad.
Read MoreI’m a busy fellow. My normal day is 100% scheduled, including weekends. Christmas requires an additional 20% of my time for about a month, which I manage by eliminating sleep, exercise, recreation and physical intimacy. In return, I get presents that sit in a huge pile for weeks while I…
Read MoreThe problem with debates on the Internet is that there’s no objective way to judge who won – no equivalent of a knockout. In fact, there’s not even a word that means knockout when you’re talking about an exchange of ideas. But there should be. I recommend using the word…
Read MoreSeveral people left comments here alerting me to the fact that I’m ranked as the #12 Influential Management Thinker in the world. No, seriously. Here’s the web site that shows the rankings. http://www.thinkers50.com/ My first reaction was to feel sorry for the poor bastards who ranked 13 through 50. I…
Read MoreAs I’ve said here before, the main reason I don’t vote is that I’m certain I don’t have enough information to make informed decisions. I suppose that if one of the two candidates for President was fond of swastikas, I might get involved. (I’d vote for the other candidate, you…
Read MoreI wouldn’t normally do a follow up blog on the same topic in the same day, but the comments have forced my hand. You raise more questions than you answer. Here are two more that confuse me. If you think that torture doesn’t work, why does interrogation work? No one…
Read MoreHere’s a horrible little game you can play at your next family gathering. I call it the Billionaire’s Money Question, and it’s a real eye-opener. All you do is pose the following hypothetical question to your family: “Suppose you found a thousand dollars in cash that you knew had been…
Read MoreWhy do the comments show with the wrong name? They don’t, actually. But TypePad puts the commenter’s name outside the box with the comments, below it, in the box with the next person’s comment. This made perfect sense to whoever designed the interface. Why did all of your recent posts…
Read MoreWhen I hear about people like Angelina Jolie adopting African orphans, it makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. But I have to be honest – adopting a baby seems like a lot of work, especially when you layer on the “flying to another country” part. I want to…
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