Scott Adams: In his own words
As I write this, I am on vacation in Maui, sitting on a sectional sofa in a cozy rented condo, overlooking the ocean. Whales are plainly in view, breaching and spouting and carrying on. Every time I see one, I feel as if I’m watching something special. It never seems…
Read MoreYesterday I learned how to know which one of the wall outlets is controlled by the switch. The controlled outlet is installed upside down, and only one of the two plug holes is controlled. At least that’s true on new construction where I live. BOCTAOE. This is the sort of…
Read MoreYou know the old joke about the dog that chases cars – “What would he do if he caught one?” I was reminded of that when I read that Hamas won an election victory. I imagine a room full of Hamas leaders looking at each other behind closed doors and…
Read MoreI’m often in my own little world. Usually no one can tell. One of the ways I give myself away is that I respond to what I assume people should be saying instead of what they actually say. The FedEx guy just delivered a package. When I answered the door…
Read MoreWhen you’re a big-time cartoonist and blogger, getting criticized a hundred times a day is part of the package. Luckily I’m blessed with an unnatural level of tolerance for criticism. Often the criticisms are well thought and entirely accurate, and my reaction is “Yup, you nailed me.” That happens about…
Read MoreMany of you noticed that my comic about the jet lagged baby that ran on 1/25/06 had two endings. One version ran on the Internet and the other ran in most newspapers. I sometimes offer alternate versions (a naughty one and a harmless one) when I know newspapers will have…
Read MoreOne of the things I love about China is that they set high goals, as in “Let’s build a wall around the entire country” and more recently “Let’s have Internet access but without the part where people can access the Internet.” If you know the history of the Great Wall,…
Read MoreI‘m not allowed to show you a complete Dilbert comic before it runs in newspapers, but I’ll give you a sneak peak at one panel I submitted as part of an upcoming Sunday strip. Click on it to enlarge. [missing image] My editor objected to the word “porn” and asked…
Read MoreI spend a lot of time sitting around thinking about conspiracy theories. I especially like the notion that somewhere there’s a secret group of ultra rich people controlling the governments of the world. This pleases me in several ways. First, I imagine that their naked self-interest combined with their experience…
Read MoreThe current covers of both Time and Newsweek feature Olympic skier Bode Miller. A big part of the story is that he likes to drink. This is no surprise to me because I believe people become whatever their names imply. Bode Miller’s name implies “a leather container full of beer…
Read MoreAfter my evolution post yesterday, I identified a new type of Internet debating “knockout.” It’s when someone attacks the hypothetical part of your argument as if that’s the point. Example: YOU: “If you traveled back in time, you would see that the atmosphere on earth was very different.” IDIOT: “It’s…
Read MoreRecently people have been leaving comments saying they have detected my liberal bias. I’m starting to think they might be right. After all, if complete strangers with limited powers of perception think I’m a liberal, who am I to argue that point. And the evidence is clear. For example, I…
Read MoreYesterday I claimed in this blog “I will prove to you beyond all doubt that the theory of evolution is not completely true.” About a third of you are reading this and thinking “Oh crap, not this boring topic again!” Another third are thinking “What stupid argument is this nut…
Read MoreI have many reasons for writing this blog, not the least of which is my ongoing effort to avoid being selected for jury duty. To that end, allow me to express my respect for the most Dogbertian alleged criminal of all: lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Abramoff is alleged to have engaged…
Read MoreI used to be incensed over the fact that celebrities could literally kill people, then go to court and get away with murder. Then I became a minor celebrity and my opinion started to change. I’m not famous enough to get away with premeditated murder, but it’s my ultimate goal….
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