Head-Butter

By now you’ve all seen the story about the French soccer player, Zidane, who got ejected from the World Cup finals against Italy for head-butting a player who was allegedly insulting Zidane’s mother and sister. I love many things about this story. I hardly know where to start. First, I…

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Reno

This weekend I was in Reno to attend a quickie chapel wedding, just two weeks before my own. I couldn’t stop crying at the ceremony. I was just sobbing uncontrollably. By the end I was standing in a pool of my own tears. I’ve never been so emotional in my…

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Secret Society

My favorite conspiracy theory is the one that says the world is being run by a handful of ultra-rich capitalists, and that our elected governments are mere puppets. I sure hope it’s true. Otherwise my survival depends on hordes of clueless goobers electing competent leaders. That’s about as likely as…

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Last But Not Leashed

Yesterday I was trudging the 47-second commute from my office to my home and passed a father taking his two-year old son for a walk. On a leash. Yes, the man was walking his child like a dog. The leash design was ingenious. It was actually a backpack/harness arrangement featuring…

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Worst Activists Ever

Every year in Pamplona, Spain, over a million people watch and/or participate in the Running of the Bulls. People – and by that I mean idiots – try to run ahead of a stampede of bulls in the narrow streets. The bulls have killed 15 idiots since 1924. I think…

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Ken Lay

Does it seem suspicious to you that ex-Enron CEO Ken Lay died right before they could put his guilty ass behind bars? I wonder how many doctors you need to bribe to fake your own death. Is one enough? Or is there some special double-checking that the police do if…

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Planning my Funeral

Yesterday I was planning my funeral, and not just because of the things I’ve said on this blog. Preparing a will is one of those things you do before you get married, and yes I do see the irony in that. No need to point it out. Anyway, part of…

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Praying for Sick People

Investigators recently completed a three-year study to assess the benefits of praying for heart bypass patients. It turns out that that the prayed-for group didn’t do any better than the non-prayed-for people. In fact, the people who knew they were being prayed for actually did a little worse. The researchers…

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Tennis

Later today I have a tennis match against a 20-year old woman who plays for her college team on a tennis scholarship. Her mom is the tennis pro at the health club where I play. I am still formulating my strategy for avoiding embarrassment. My current plan is to run…

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