Scott Adams: In his own words
If you want to see a lot of people go nuts, try moving the silent h in the word Gandhi when you post in your blog. I’ve done it twice now by spelling Gandhi as Ghandi. So while I was literally trying to end all war and terrorism on Earth,…
Read MoreThanks for your many punchline suggestions. I had to delete the post and comments because frankly they made me sick. Here are three of my favorite entries: 1. True story, a well respected co-worker was rumored to have been caught eating leftover food out of the trash bin. 2. How…
Read MoreI’ve noticed that whenever Americans are criticized by residents of other countries, I find myself agreeing. Don’t get me wrong – I love my country and I think every other country sucks way more than America does. But when someone calls America arrogant, I have a hard time disagreeing. We…
Read MoreI read in the news that the Chinese police are cracking down on the practice of hiring strippers for funerals. Seriously. Strippers for funerals. Villagers believe that the more people who attend the funeral, the more honored the dead person is. And naked women bring in the crowds. I can…
Read MoreMy prior post was a thought experiment where I described a crazy-ass backwards strategy for dealing with Iran. The point wasn’t that it would work – I’m no expert in foreign affairs – but rather that it could help illuminate some flaws in our current way of thinking. Let’s take…
Read MoreWhen I’m not drawing comics, I spend a lot of time figuring out how to bring peace to the Middle East and end terrorism. Today I’ll describe my best (craziest) idea so far. Treat this as a thought experiment, in the sense that trying to figure out why it won’t…
Read MoreSerious drinkers prefer to stay off the road on New Year’s Eve, sometimes calling it “Amateur Night.” I am reminded of that witticism as I watch the debate about whether Pluto is a real planet or a dwarf planet. To a professional humorist there is nothing more painful than a…
Read MoreI just heard that sprinter Justin Gatlin – the world record holder for 100 meters – tested positive for testosterone and steroids. I was shocked! My first thought went to the second-fastest man in the world. I have this image of him being so happy when he heard the news…
Read MoreI don’t know of anyone over the age of 18 who wants to get older, despite all the studies showing that older people are happier than younger ones. I’ve always wondered why the elderly are so content, and now that I’m getting older myself, the mysteries are beginning to unfold….
Read MoreI read that Stephen King used to write his books while listening to hard rock music and drinking heavily. I envy him, except for the part where he became a drunk and got hit by a car. It sure would be nice to do great work while drunk and distracted….
Read MoreIf aliens landed in your backyard and gave you one minute to describe everything there is to know about human behavior, what would you say? I found an answer to that question today as I was looking through my old e-mails. This story was sent to me by a Dilbert…
Read MoreDoes your computer freeze up just because it was sitting there unused for a few hours? Every computer I’ve owned has acquired that habit after about two years. I’ve owned about 15 computers in my life, including work and home, so I’m fairly sure it’s not because I’m doing the…
Read MoreI am appalled at the low quality of spam lately. If someone is trying to scam me, I expect him to put some effort into it. Here are a few of the subject lines that ended up in my spam folder today: Re: it see to amiss Re: Damiana one…
Read MoreFor our wedding reception, as recent traditional demands, we put disposable cameras at every table. People told us that those pictures would be some of our most interesting ones. They were right. But apparently there is another tradition that goes along with this one: The mystery tit. We developed the…
Read MoreAccording to the New York Times, Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, the leader of Hezbollah, appeared on television to declare that Hezbollah had won “…a strategic and historic victory.” Meanwhile, Israel is claiming they achieved their goal of degrading Hezbollah and putting the U.N. peacekeepers and Lebanese army in control of Southern…
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