Scott Adams: In his own words
Have you noticed that it takes at least two people to watch a movie lately? It usually goes like this: Movie Actor: Mumble, mumble, mumble You: What did he say? Other Person: He said he’s going to kill the dwarf, or something about oatmeal. Movie Actor: mumble, mumble, mumble Other…
Read MoreAs a smallish person, I often feel cheated. My money is subsidizing a lot of big people and I don’t like it. For example, I pay the same price at the all-you-can-eat buffet as the guy who brings his own wheelbarrow. For all practical purposes, I’m buying that guy’s lunch….
Read MoreHave you seen the new security procedure on flights when the pilot has to use the toilet? I just watched a 5’3” 110 pound flight attendant block the galley with a beverage cart and a menacing expression. I guess that’s to slow down any hijackers. I can imagine the hijackers…
Read MoreHow would you like to be Condi Rice? It’s your job to stop the fighting in Lebanon. That’s one super-crappy job. Luckily for her, I’m here to help. It’s a strange little war in the sense that neither side can win, and they both know it. Hizbollah can’t destroy Israel…
Read MoreI’m back on the road today – this time to Pittsburgh where I will give a mirthful keynote address to a darkened room full of strangers. Pittsburgh has many wonderful tourist attractions and natural wonders. For example, there’s the Pittsburgh Museum of Things That Other Museums Didn’t Want, the Festival…
Read MoreI’m not experienced at parenting. Sometimes it shows. Recently I offered to buy a video game for my newly acquired 6-year old son. There was no particular reason for the gift except that I was going to Best Buy for something else and wanted to give him a reason to…
Read MoreI had my familymoon last week. That’s like a honeymoon, but in our case included our two kids (6 and 9) plus two sets of grandparents. Our brilliant plan was to enroll the kids in the spectacular child activity centers offered on the Disney Magic cruise ship to the Western…
Read MoreWell, I am returning from my familymoon where — much to my surprise — I did not have ready access to the Internet in the middle of the ocean. It was barbaric, yet warm and often tasty. (Specifically, it was a Disney Cruise to the Western Caribbean with my family.)…
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