Free Will Update

A reader pointed out this great collection of information about free will on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_will The funniest part of the article is that Einstein agreed there is no free will. That suggests a great bumpersticker that many of you should think about getting: “I disagreed with Einstein. And then I…

Read More

A Test for Free Will

Many of you think that my assertion that free will is superstition is unfounded. You ask if there is any test supporting my view that free will does not exist. I could weasel out of this by noting that the EXISTENCE of free will is the extraordinary claim, since it…

Read More

Women and Horses

I have met quite a few horse lovers. My local area is full of them. They are all women. So what is up with women and horses? Women generally don’t enjoy activities that involve dirt, mud, hay, flies, bad odors, and huge piles of feces.  I realize I’m stereotyping here,…

Read More

I Hate My Guts

I was nose snorkeling late last night and had a strange thought, even by my standards. Yes, I said nose snorkeling. That’s when you swim the breast stroke in calm water with your mouth below water and your nose above it. I just invented that term, I think. I can…

Read More

Answer to the Philosophical Question of the Day

In a prior post I asked who is at fault if a guy pokes a bear with a stick and the bear kills him. Then I sweetened the pot by supposing the bear was actually an irrational guy whose religion says you need to kill people that poke you with…

Read More

Toothpaste Smuggler

Call me fussy, but I like to brush my teeth every now and then. Unfortunately, thanks to the terrorists, that simple task is becoming more difficult whenever I fly. You can take toothpaste in a checked bag, but the baggage claim process adds an hour to your travel and vastly…

Read More

Inconvenient Garbage

Yesterday I gave a humorous talk to a group of business people. Afterwards, a number of Dilbert fans asked for autographs on their program guides. I’m happy to sign autographs in person, but I feel bad doing it because I’m turning a perfectly good piece of future garbage into something…

Read More

Philosophical Question of the Day

If a man goes into the forest and pokes a bear with a sharp stick, and the bear kills the man, whose fault is it? Don’t read this next part until you have made up your mind whether it is the man’s fault or the bear’s fault. Okay, you may…

Read More

History

According to a special on the ABC network, 9-11 happened because Bill Clinton was preoccupied with a sex scandal. I hope the authors of history books migrate toward that opinion. It would make 8th grade a lot more entertaining, especially since 9-11 will probably lead to WWIII between radical Islam…

Read More

Connecting the Dots

Today I heard on the news that Michael Jackson is going to open a leprechaun themed amusement park in Ireland. Seriously. If you don’t believe me, go Google yourself. Let me pause for a moment while your brain connects the dots. Michael Jackson… accused but never convicted of child molesting……

Read More

Cold

True story: It was my senior year at Hartwick College, in upstate New York, February, 9 pm, ten below zero, a foot of snow, and my very used car decides to die. I’m on a new highway that few have yet discovered. There’s not another car in sight. I didn’t…

Read More

Maybe It’s Me

My favorite Mr. Boffo comic of all time featured Mr. Boffo (I assume) in a jail cell talking to his cellmate. He says about himself, “Nineteen arrests. Nineteen convictions. Maybe it’s me.” I come back to that philosophy often. You can only explain so many times why everyone else is…

Read More

What Would Trump Do?

If my religion were based on the teachings of Donald Trump, I would try to make a lot of money and keep it all. And I’d feel good about it because I was being true to my beliefs. I’d hate to go through life feeling like a hypocrite. Non-believers have…

Read More

Reaching for Things in the Car

As a writer, I’m always searching for those thoughts that everyone has but no one has yet expressed. It’s dangerous territory because there’s always a good chance that you’re the only freak in the world with that thought or that problem. I was heartened to discover from your prior blog…

Read More

Pope Stirs Up Poop

My favorite story of the week is about Pope Benedict inadvertently insulting Islam in a speech. He quoted a Byzantine emperor who called Islam “evil and inhuman” but made it clear that it wasn’t his own opinion. In response to being labeled evil and inhuman by a dead Byzantine emperor,…

Read More