Scott Adams: In his own words
The great thing about recovering from the flu is rediscovering all the small pleasures I had taken for granted. For example, I love standing in the shower after all the cleaning is done, just rocking back and forth while the warm water massages my neck and shoulders. It doesn’t last…
Read MoreIn prior posts I’ve mentioned how much I’d like to see political polls that are limited to the smart, well-informed people. I have to confess, I thought I was stating a universal truth along the lines of “it’s better to have good health than poor health.” It seemed to me…
Read MoreMany Americans want a fence on the Mexican border to keep out illegal aliens. Israel is building a fence to keep out terrorists. Saudi Arabia is considering a fence to keep out Iraqis. How do I invest in fences? It seems to me only a matter of time before someone…
Read More[Sorry this is late. Get your flu shots. Don’t be like me.] I read that President Bush’s approval rating is less than 1 in 3. Nancy Pelosi, the incoming majority leader for the opposition party is in the same range. In other words, two-thirds of the citizens of the United…
Read MoreFor the past few months I’ve been trying to drop a stubborn two pounds that has resisted all manner of diet and exercise. Yesterday I got lucky – I woke up with the stomach flu from Hell. Mission accomplished in 24 hours. I dare say my body looks perfect now,…
Read MoreI’m taking a sick day today.
Read MoreWhen I’m traveling for my speaking sideline, one of my small pleasures is ordering room service to arrive at the crack of dawn. I love my warm bagel, small pot of green tea, and assorted fruit plate. It starts my day off on the right foot. Sometimes I’ll have a…
Read MoreI have an irrational fear of ambiguous tipping situations. You might think that with all of my traveling I would have seen them all. But no, I keep running into new ones. It bothers me because I don’t want to accidentally stiff someone and later realize it and feel bad….
Read MoreI remember one day in sixth grade, our teacher asked us to go to the blackboard, one at a time, and write down something we would be willing to die for. The first few kids wrote down answers such as “cancer” and “hit by car.” Our teacher informed us that…
Read MoreThe other day I was dispensing sage advice to a friend. Later it occurred to me that if my advice were followed, my friend could end up getting married and starting a family. In other words, I might have accidentally created a baby. Whoops. And not just one baby. The…
Read MoreAs regular readers know, I am too ignorant to have opinions on most big issues. That’s why I don’t vote. This makes me feel inadequate because everyone around me has complete clarity and has taken sides. I want to be like that. I’m tired of being confused and uninformed. For…
Read MoreDo you know who Steve Bing is? He inherited $600 million from his dad when he was 18. He produced some famous movies, most recently The Polar Express. He also knocked up Elizabeth Hurley. He really doesn’t need to do anything else for the rest of his life. Ferchrissake Steve,…
Read MoreIf you ask me, the most obscene letter in the alphabet is the asterisk. It appears in almost every naughty word you see in print, from f*ck to p*ss to m*th*rf*ck*ng c*cks*ck*r. You can’t even pronounce the word “asterisk” without saying *ss. That smutty little character is attracted to obscenity…
Read MoreBehold the winners of the enthusiastically unscientific 2006 Weasl Poll: http://dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/shop/html/weasel_poll_results_2006.html [no longer available] Keep in mind that these are not my personal opinions. The funniest part of this poll every year is not who wins, but who doesn’t. For example, it’s no big surprise that President Bush took top…
Read MoreDilbert Blog reader Brenda left this comment yesterday: —- Start quote —- “Hey idiots!!! You’ve been force fed too much stem-cell bull by the liberal media. Wake up and smell the propoganda! ADULT stem cells are currently being used to cure dozens of diseases and conditions. Embryonic stem cells, however, haven’t…
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