Month: February 2007

What is up with these buried cities that archeologists keep discovering? I’m trying to figure out how a city gets buried unless a volcano is nearby. In my house, for example, when the crumbs on the kitchen floor reach ankle height, I start thinking about sweeping. Call me a neat…

Filmmaker James Cameron is claiming he and some archeologists found the tomb of Jesus’s family. All the casket-like things called ossuaries are empty. I wonder what the archeologists were thinking when they found an ossuary with Jesus’s name on it. I can imagine the moment they removed the lid and…

There are a number of web sites that contain quotes from various public figures including me. I was looking through my quotes (just Google “Scott Adams quotes” for a list) and was appalled. THOSE are my BEST quotes????? There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list,…

Today I am going to teach you a magic trick. You’re going to disappear. Seriously. First, you need some background. If you’re a skeptic, the hardest thing to imagine is a supernatural force. How could something be “above” the natural world, and yet interact with it? Or to put it…

Have you noticed all the coincidences lately? For example, first we have Britney Spears, who has a baby, then shaves her bush, and acts like a chimp. Then we hear about actual chimps that use SPEARS to stab BUSH-BABIES. The news didn’t say whether any of those chimps are named…

Yesterday, for the sixth time in the past year, a refrigerator repairman tried, and failed, to fix my ice dispenser. Four different repair guys from the company that manufactured the fridge have had a go at it. They diagnose the problem. They order parts. They install the parts. The ice…

Yesterday there was a post on this blog about Tim Hardaway and his public statement that he “hates gay people.” The post suddenly disappeared. People wondered if Hardaway’s people “got to me” and threatened to sue. No. Nothing that interesting. I approve reader comments before they get posted. You didn’t…

The latest news from Egypt is that archeologists found a pharaoh’s butler in an underground tomb. I always wonder in these situations whether the butler was dead before he got wrapped up. I can imagine the scene 3,000 years ago at the reading of the pharaoh’s will. The butler is…

Did you see the gossip news about actor Ralph Fiennes? He was on a long flight to India as part of his STD awareness program. The New York Post alleges that he had sex with a flight attendant in the airline bathroom. The flight attendant says there was no sex,…

I’ve heard that it costs about $25,000 to keep one criminal in jail for a year. And jails are overcrowded, so that expense goes up if you ship your convicts to other states where they have extra prison space, as California does. This gave me an idea for a business…

In order to be happy, you must be successful in all three of these areas: 1. Relationships2. Health3. Income Realistically, you will only have time to accomplish any two of those goals while bitching about the third. The day isn’t long enough to do them all. When I see a…

There are many amusing things about North Korea: The national color is gray. Their Dear Leader is a cross between a Chia Pet and a douche bag. And they used up all of their food money to make nuclear weapons, so they can trade those nuclear weapons for food. The…

Today I had a disturbing realization about myself: I am easily amused. I came to this conclusion while watching a video clip on the Internet about windmills. I enjoyed it a lot. This is what I learned: 1. Windmills are big.2. Wind is free.3. Dutch people had windmills a long…

The problem with being the first person to do something is that the thing you’re doing has no name – at least not one that has any meaning. I was reminded of that while watching the Grammy award show the other night. Some old guy was talking about the enduring…

In yesterday’s post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying. Based on your responses, it seems that…