Scott Adams: In his own words
Did you see this disturbing story in National Geographic? http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/03/070314-hybrids.html [no longer available] It turns out that sometimes two species can mate and produce a new species. This is the sort of news that makes bestiality less appealing. How many humans saw that story and said to themselves, “Uh-oh”? I…
Read MoreI wonder who holds the record for being the victim of the most crimes. I might have a shot at that record. Here’s my list. – Assault by pistol (1)– Robbed by large knife (1)– Death threats (1)– Apartment robbed (2)– Garage robbed (2)– Embezzled (2)– Robbed at gunpoint (3)–…
Read MoreI’ve been trying for years to reconcile my usually-excellent bullshit filter with the idea that evolution is considered a scientific fact. Why does a well-established scientific fact set off my usually-excellent bullshit filter like a five-alarm fire? It’s the fossil record that has been bugging me the most. It looks…
Read MoreYesterday I was flying across the country. My biggest fear when flying isn’t that the jet might crash; it’s that I might end up sitting next to the World’s Most Annoying Man for five hours. Theoretically, such a person exists. I mean, SOMEONE has to be the most annoying man…
Read MoreThe best kind of personal defects are the ones that other people notice but you can’t. It’s bad enough to have a defect in the first place; there’s no point in having to think about it all the time. It’s bad for your self-esteem. For example, I envy the people…
Read MoreLast night, at a social gathering, a friend mentioned in passing that water going down the drain north of the equator swirls in the opposite direction as south of the equator. I said it was an urban legend. He whipped out (figuratively) his doctorate degree in science and an explanation…
Read MoreIn a recent post, I talked about technology that is so wonderful it makes you say, “Too frickin’ cool!” Lately I have been experiencing the other kind: too frickin’ uncool. I’m in Indian Wells, California today. It’s an 82 minute flight from home. We were delayed at the airport for…
Read MoreI’m at the Pacific Open tennis tournament in Indian Wells today and tomorrow (Fri and Sat) between 11 am and 3 pm. If you can find a friend of a friend of a friend who is at that tournament, and that person can find me, I will have a Sharpie…
Read MoreI’ve been trying to understand Iran’s form of government. They have a President, who is elected by the people, and is the second most powerful person in the country. That sounds democratic. But he’s not the top dude. Above the president is the Supreme Leader who controls the military and…
Read MoreFrom a marketing perspective, there’s a brilliant new game show on TV called Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? The host, Jeff Foxworthy, asks adults questions from topics covered in grade school. The adult can rely on a 5th grader for help up to three times. For example, Foxworthy…
Read MoreA minute ago I accidentally dropped three odd-shaped objects on the floor. If they had bounced in any of three directions, they would have encountered a hard flat surface and stopped conveniently near my feet. If they bounced in the fourth direction, they would be seeking shelter in a hard-to-get…
Read MoreNow for an exciting round of what I call “too frickin’ cool.” The way this is played is that you describe some technology that is so futuristic, so Star Trekish, you can hardly believe that you are using it. When you are done describing this technology, you must be so…
Read MoreLast night, the full moon was low and bright over the horizon on a clear California evening. It looked extra large. “Wow,” said my beautiful wife. “Look at the moon.” It was spectacular, perched above the silhouette of townhouses in the distance. One extroverted star and a wisp of night…
Read MoreI’m a common variety of human being. By that, I mean that there are about a million guys who look like me. I see them all the time, and it creeps me out. This has gotten worse over the years. Now I also see younger people who look like me…
Read MoreIt’s my fault for bringing it up, but many of you asked about the most frequently asked questions of cartoonists. Here you go. 1. What newspaper first ran Dilbert? Dilbert is syndicated. That means my syndication company, United Media, tried to sell it to as many papers as it could,…
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