Month: August 2007

Today I am visiting the small town where I grew up: Windham NY. I have to write this post on my BlackBerry. If it looks odd, that’s why. In Windham, they’ve heard good things about the Internet, but there’s still a wait-and-see attitude.  I haven’t been back to Windham since…

Today I am visiting the small town where I grew up: Windham NY. I have to compile this post on my BlackBerry. If it looks odd, that’s why. They’ve heard good things about the Internet here, but there’s still a wait-and-see attitude. I haven’t been back to Windham since I…

There was a study in the late nineties that showed males become aroused by certain scents. http://health.msn.com/centers/mensexualhealth/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100167992 [no longer available] The biggest winner in the smells-that-make-men-horny contest was pumpkin pie. The researchers are baffled by why that particular smell is so effective. Allow me to help them out with the…

Did you see the story about the two Chinese coal miners who survived six days after a tunnel collapse? They ate coal and drank their own urine. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070828/od_nm/china_mine_coal1_dc_1;_ylt=AjSdP8lISg1LTBPSwwJceN0E1vAI [no longer available] I had many reactions to this story, and that’s not even counting “Eewwww!” When I was young, parents encouraged…

As regular readers of this blog know, all coincidences are clues that we are holograms programmed by our long dead ancestors before the planet was annihilated. How else could you explain the two stories forwarded to me today? 1. A Republican Senator has been arrested for lewd conduct in a…

Sunday afternoon, a youth league basketball coach and his team play an away game in Pleasanton, CA. After the game, they grab some lunch at the In-n-Out Burger, then head home. The van with the team takes off, and the coach drives his beat-up old sedan to the gas station…

I’d love to have a complete scrapbook of all my vacations, but it’s too much work. That’s why I need a service that would create the scrapbook automatically, online. Here’s how it could work. First, my digital camera should have GPS so it always knows where I am. When I…

I don’t tell this story often, because no one believes it. It was 1979, my senior year at Hartwick College, in Oneonta NY. One early morning I woke up from a dead sleep and had what could best be described as a vision of my future. In this vision, I…

A reader sent this story about his workplace. ————-“A theme from many of your previous comics came true to life for us today. Quality in the workplace. Yesterday, a pointy-haired boss decided our meeting room needed nice motivational pictures on the wall. Twelve by eight inch, wooden frame, 1940s-style motivational…

Since I know some of you will whine about seeing another Basic Instructions post (below), I give you this bonus post. I’m a big fan of creative cussing. When I was a kid, in Windham NY, one of the older boys invented this friendly threat: “Don’t make me drag you…

Yesterday I experienced another freaky happening.  I had just started writing a post about time travel using focused gravitational fields to form a closed timelike curve, when a reader e-mailed me an article about a dwarf getting his penis stuck in a vacuum cleaner. Total coincidence! http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070820/od_afp/entertainmentbritain [no longer available]…

I was alarmed at how many people forwarded me the story of a pet camel humping his owner to death, as if this might be the sort of thing I would mirthfully blog about. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20347997/ [no longer available] I am disgusted by all of you. There is nothing funny about…

My favorite story of the week, if not my entire life, involves China passing a law banning Tibetan monks from reincarnating without permission. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20227400/site/newsweek/ [no longer available] My first reaction was something along the lines of “Ha ha! You can’t regulate reincarnation!” Then I realized China manufactured every article of…