Readers have complained that I keep posting on stories involving penises. Apparently that is not highbrow enough for some of you. Well, unlike some authors, I listen to my readers. So today I am elevating the discussion.
Did you hear that scientists discovered a new use for men’s balls? Apparently they are loaded with stem cells.
http://abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/09/20/2039030.htm?section=world [no longer available]
This is great news because stem cells have potential to help against many health problems. For example, men’s balls might someday help with their strokes.
If you have balls, you have probably looked at them and wondered aloud “What else can I do with them?” Until now, their utility was limited to the following:
1. Producing sperm and male hormones
2. Target for projectiles
3. Sexual stimulation
4. Impersonating Alan Greenspan
Now it turns out that if you have balls, they might save your life. And this is proof of God’s existence. Allow me to explain.
If it can be shown that our existence is clearly an intentional joke, I think we can rule out evolution. The evidence was already starting to tilt in that direction, but this news about balls clearly pushes things over the line.
Which of these statements sounds the most like an intentional joke on humans?
1. You can cure diseases using your toenail clippings.
2. You can cure diseases using your hair.
3. Hey goober, here’s your life-saving stem cells. They’re in your balls!
Do you seriously think we got to this place by random mutations?