Did you see the gossip news about actor Ralph Fiennes? He was on a long flight to India as part of his STD awareness program. The New York Post alleges that he had sex with a flight attendant in the airline bathroom. The flight attendant says there was no sex, that he just followed her in there and made a move that she rejected. He isn’t commenting.
http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/hotgossip/2-14-07_5?GT1=7701 [no longer active]
My question to you is this: How horny do you have to be before you’ll follow a flight attendant into an airline bathroom, knowing that she actually has to use the bathroom? I mean, does that move ever work?
I can barely convince myself that ANYONE has ever had sex in an airline bathroom. And that includes the best-case scenarios where:
1. The couple are already lovers
2. Neither person needs to actually USE the bathroom at that moment
3. Neither person is on an STD awareness tour
4. Both lovers are blind, noseless people with disposable shoes.
Maybe when you’re a famous and handsome actor, you don’t need to work so hard on getting just the right lighting and ambiance to close the deal. I imagine that Brad Pitt could seduce a cheerleader in an open sewer. Maybe when famous actors get together, they brag about their conquests in challenging settings:
“One night, after the Golden Globes, I had a threesome in a dumpster behind a seafood restaurant.”
“That’s nothing. I once shagged a supermodel on the sidewalk in the middle of the day, using only a wino as a bed. She was on the bottom, so it wasn’t as gross as it sounds.”
“That’s nothing. I did a widow during her husband’s funeral. Luckily, he was a little guy, so the three of us fit inside the casket.”
The New York Post story about Ralph Fiennes doesn’t mention whether he “allegedly” kept humping the rest of the airline crew or if he stopped after the one. I suspect that the only reason the pilot and co-pilot were safe is that they were behind terrorist-proof doors. Still, it was a long flight, and Ralph probably waited for them to use the restroom before pouncing. He’ll be insufferable at the next bragfest of Hollywood hunks:
Ralph: “I had the entire airline crew, plus the passengers in rows 1A through 23C. I only stopped because I was on an STD awareness tour and I ran out of condoms. That’s the problem with being a role model.”