I cleverly bought some flowers a day early in order to beat the Valentines Day rush, and also so I could get the “good stuff” before it was gone. What I learned is that smarter guys bought all of the “good stuff” at least TWO days ago. I couldn’t go home empty handed, so I picked the best of what was left. It was grim.
I’m no flowerologist, so I can’t identify all of the flowers in this arrangement. But I’m reasonably sure that two of them are dryer lint and at least one is a used hanky on a coat hanger. The rest of them are either dead or at least hunting quail with the Vice President if you catch my drift.
It’s especially embarrassing because 90 million guys bought flowers today, and somehow they all beat me. If someone asks me how I competed in the Valentines Day contrived holiday event, I have to answer “I came in 90 millionth.” That’s no way to stay engaged.
My only hope is that one of my readers did even worse in the romantic department and will confess it here in the comments.