Yesterday I told you I would give my clear opinion on as many questions as I could get to. Here now, my answers.
Q. What do you see as the greatest problem facing the world today?
A. Religious nuts (assuming global warming gets fixed).
Q. What’s your opinion on Indians stealing American jobs?
A. Outsourcing is good for the Indians and bad for the Americans who lost their jobs. But it’s good for the Americans who get to buy cheaper products or invest in the company stock that had lower costs.
Q. What is your opinion on the nature, constancy, and relevancy of time?
A. Ask me again yesterday.
Q. In terms of the Canada/USA softwood lumber dispute, who’s right?
A. I am opposed to soft wood.
Q. Should the government, by power of a law passed by a referendum of the people, be allowed to sterilize those who have proven themselves to be exceptionally stupid, but not criminal, so they may not contribute to the contamination of the gene pool?
A. I see your clever trap where you try to get me to deny the goodness of mob rule that I recently supported. I do not support sterilization of stupid people, nor will 66.7% of the public ever support it. Therefore, I continue to support mob rule (without the literal “mobby” part).
Q. Are you a good tipper and what do you think about the whole tipping issue?
A. I’ve worked for tips as a bus boy and bell hop when I was in college. And I own two restaurants. I’m an absurdly good tipper. I approve of tipping, but I don’t like ambiguity about when to do it.
Q. Why do most people end up living mediocre, “regular” lives?
A. It’s easier.
Q. What’s your opinion on abortion?
A. It’s bad for the fetus. It’s convenient for the adult who wants one. Arguing about when “life begins” is an attempt to offload a tough question on the dictionary or the courts or a superstition. I support the majority opinion in favor of keeping abortion legal. I value the quality of life for adults higher than the unrealized life of a fetus. And I trust the majority (the mob) to figure out the most realistic place to draw that line.
Q. What about men’s rights on abortion.
A. The woman’s rights have to be a higher priority.
Q. Who, out of any person, would do the best job of dictator with total control of the world, and please give a real response.
A. Bill Gates. He’s rational, experienced, and has a good track record of helping the disadvantaged through his charitable trusts.
Q. What about using public funds in the rebuilding of New Orleans, specifically the areas we *know* will flood again.
A. I think the country should help disaster victims. The specific method should be an economic question where you apply a concept called “expected value.” Compare the cost of rebuilding and (especially) fortifying the levees to the cost of relocating people. Real estate in the flood zone is relatively cheap. If you can get the risk of levee failure down to say 1%, rebuilding is the best solution. I’ll spare you the math, but rebuilding in a flood zone could, under some assumptions, be the best course.
Q. Do you feel human beings are inherently selfish?
A. Yup.
Q. I would love to have your opinion on celebrities who have “causes.” For example Briget Bardot and Paul McCartney recently traveled to Canada to protest the seal hunt.
A. I have no problem with celebrities raising awareness of issues. I do have a problem with the media if they don’t show both sides.
Q. Do you think that a great goal in life is to leave the world a better place than it was when you arrived?
A. I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.
Q. Are organic foods any more healthful than ordinary foods?
A. Beats me.
Q. Is declawing cats humane?
A. I wouldn’t put a label on it, but I wouldn’t do it. I’d rather lose a couch than hurt my cat. (I’ve lost two couches so far. No regrets.)
Q. Does it make sense for a society to continue to provide free junk food to tens of millions of its sickest citizens? Would it not make more sense to allow food stamps to be used only for dairy, meats, & fish?
A. In concept, yes. In practice, I doubt it can be regulated.
Q. So do you think George Bush is really an idiot, or incredibly smart and just plays an idiot on TV?
A. I think he is smarter than 90% of the public. But many politicians are smarter than 99% of the public, so the difference can seem disturbing.
Q. I would like your opinion on how not to be lazy. I think I am ruining my life being lazy.
A. Do something you enjoy enough to work hard at it. If nothing meets that description, you are born lazy. I think people are 90% internally motivated.
Q. Can you give an easy solution for all the Middle East problems, including but not limited to ethnic issues, religious issues, corruption issues, oil issues, nuclear issues, and last but not least, the poor history of this region in the soccer world cup?
A. There is no solution. But I often wonder what would happen if we surrendered, apologized for interfering in the region, and withdrew all financial and military support for everyone including Israel. I think Israel would survive just fine, countries would still sell us plenty of oil, and our enemies would get busy killing each other. We learned from the Cold War that enemies really do need a reason to want to kill you. It’s not for entertainment.
Q. Your thoughts on genetically modified food/animals/people??
A. I’d allow it all, with close oversight. Who wouldn’t want a pet that was half beagle and half cucumber?
Q. I was wondering what your opinion is on evolution vs. punctuated evolution vs. Intelligent Design vs. Creationism
A. Regarding creationism, I’m not superstitious.
Intelligent Design was put to the test in the Dover trial and failed miserably in convincing a judge it should be considered science. If you read the judge’s opinion, he heard from both sides (as few people ever have) and it wasn’t even a close call. That’s good enough for me. Until that verdict, I was having a hard time with the obvious biases on both sides. I considered all sources unreliable. But since the Dover experts were under oath and subject to cross-examination, I am satisfied with the outcome.
As for evolution, if time and reality and causation are essentially similar to how our little minds perceive them, then evolution is probably as true as anything can be. That said, I think the odds are very small that time and reality and causation are similar to our perceptions of them. (Here I am siding with Einstein and lots of other smart people.) I also think that 99% of the people who accept evolution do so for reasons unrelated to the evidence. They are instead taking the word of the people who claim to have seen the evidence. That is different to me (at least for the BIG questions) but apparently makes no difference to most people.
Lastly, I expect that the theory of evolution will change dramatically in my lifetime, just as many other well-established theories have. I don’t know what that change will be, but I suspect people will stop arguing that virus mutations are good evidence that humans descended from slime. I think we’ll get a better theory for how the big evolutionary changes happened, but it will still fit under the umbrella of evolution.
Q. What is the title/who is the author of the last three books you’ve read, and what is your opinion about those books?
Freakonomics: Excellent
Icons of Evolution: Fascinating and biased
The Truth: I like all Al Franken books
Q. Do you agree that omnivores should be at their most healthy when they eat a mixed diet including both meat and vegetables?
A. I’ve never seen any study to support that view. But there is plenty of evidence in favor of vegetarian diets.
Q. Telepathy?
A. Doesn’t exist.
Q. Assisted suicide
A. I’m all for it.
Q. Do you think people can be ‘born gay’, or is it developmental?
A. I think people are born with specific sexual preferences, including being on the fence about it. I think that the people who are naturally bisexual might pick one side and go with it depending on their life experiences. It’s those fence sitters who make it seem like a lifestyle decision for everyone. But the people who have never been attracted to the opposite sex are clearly born that way.
Q. Is it possible to become wildly successful but still maintain a healthy relationship with my family?
A. Nope. But you can become wildly successful and then later get a family. By then you have a good chance of making it all work. (I’m counting on it.)
Q. Explain your position about torture. That topic about torture was disturbing.
A. I think torture can be effective in a rare situation where, for example, you know the terrorist has the relevant information, there’s a time constraint, and you ask a verifiable question such as “Where is the nuclear bomb suitcase?” Otherwise, plain-old-interrogation seems sufficient to me, and more defensible.
To avoid the slippery slope problem – where you start torturing all prisoners just in case they know something – I’d prefer written presidential approval for every case. That approval wouldn’t need to be public for say 20 years. If a President is willing to authorize torture and have his legacy judged on it, then there’s a good chance that it has legitimate national defense benefits.
Q. Does a human life have a significant innate worth, or is that worth instead largely determined by what that human accomplishes, experiences, and how the human treats and burdens others?
A. In my opinion, some people are worth more than others. But I wouldn’t judge people by accomplishment because that’s mostly a matter of luck. And I wouldn’t judge people by their mistakes, because that would mean everyone is worthless. I do however think you can judge people by how they learn from their mistakes.
Q. Favorite science fiction TV show?
A. Of all time: Babylon 5
Currently: Battlestar Galactica
Q. Most futuristic thing you wish would be invented now?
A. Orgasm ray gun.
Q. Berk Breathed was considered by many (including me) to be a cartooning genius; but he walked away from it all. Do you feel he was right? And/or – would you ever do that? Or perhaps, like Charles Schulz and Reg Smythe, leave your characters to be scripted and drawn by someone else?
A. First, no one took over Schulz’s comic. The Classics are being rerun in papers. Second, I would never judge how any other cartoonist decides to spend his time. Third, I doubt I would let anyone else take over Dilbert.
Q. Do you believe in reincarnation and that’s why you’re a vegetarian?
I used to hypnotize people and ask them to recall previous lives. I wondered if there might be something to it. They came up with some great stories. Usually they were Vikings or kings or cool people. Over time I realized that no one ever lived in Asia in a previous life. What are the odds of that? So no, I don’t believe in reincarnation, except that our molecules get recycled.
I’m a vegetarian because I don’t digest meat well. It gives me a stomach ache.
Q. Scott, do you think, if left alone and unmolested, that Islam will become a religion of peace and usher in a new age of enlightenment and brotherly love?
A. Peace, yes. Enlightenment, no. But your hypothetical is impossible because the world is too connected to leave Islam alone.
Q. Do you believe that writing daily affirmations actually works?
A. Yes, but not in a magic voodoo kind of way, although the results often seem that good. See my book God’s Debris for a more thorough explanation of why it might appear to work.
Q. What’s your opinion of yourself?
A. I’m good at some things and bad at others. I’m lucky that there’s a market for the things I’m good at.
Q. Are we the only “intelligent” humanoid species in the universe?
A. There’s no way to know, but my hunch is that we are alone.