There are words that I never learn to spell, no matter how many times I look them up, and it bugs me. Today is one of those days where I don’t feel like Googling the proper spelling of the terrorist group al-kayda, or El-coodah, whatever. Today only, I will spell it any way I please.
My friend Henry has an interesting theory about terrorist al-Zarqawi’s demise. Henry figures that since al-Zarqawi was a true believer, he asked one of his al-Kaida buddies to turn him in for the $25 million reward. That way al-Zarqawi becomes a martyr and the terrorist group al-Kuyaiiida gets enough funding to last them for years. Very clever.
The al-quayiida terrorists seem quite adamant about the fact that when you kill one of them, a thousand more take his place. So turning in al-Zarqawi was good for recruiting too.
That suggests a good plan to capture Bin Laden. It requires fewer Special Forces and more marketing. Instead of offering $25 million reward for some al-kuhday supporter to become a traitor, we restate the proposition in more positive terms (marketing!). We offer to donate $25 million to al-quayduh if one of the noble jihadists will assist Bin Laden in achieving martyrdom. We might have to sweeten the deal with some free prizes, such as scraggly beard trimmers or a zipper.
We wouldn’t have to actually pay the $25 million. We could just drop a 500 pound bomb on the guy that tries to collect it. Some would call that unethical, but there’s a fine line between bombing and marketing.