My favorite story in today’s news is about football player Terrell Owens’ claim that he was misquoted in his own book. This is the book that is written in first person.
He blames his co-author for a quote in which Terrell allegedly called his own recovery from an injury “heroic.”
In other words, Terrell Owens didn’t actually write the book he wrote, and there’s some question as to whether he read the book he wrote.
Fans lined up for hours at Walmart to get a signed copy of his book that Terrell had – and this is just my guess – never before seen. There’s no word on whether Terrell did the autographs himself or if he hired a co-autographer who accidentally signed the name of an entirely different football player. It’s hard to get good help.
People understand that athletes need a little assistance in the writing department, so it’s no big deal when they use co-authors. But as a writer, I wonder why I can’t try out for the NFL using a co-athlete. I’d bring the intangibles, such as my desire to make my co-athlete work extra hard in the off-season to stay in shape. I’d also be willing to make him play hurt. The jumping and running and catching are the easy parts. It’s the “competitiveness” that I’d bring to the mix, and you can’t put a price on that.
In fact, I can think of lots of jobs I could do as long as I had someone else to do the actual job. For example, I could get a job on a bomb squad and send my co-deactivator to the bomb site while I stayed home and enjoyed a nice toasted bagel. Again, I’d contribute the intangibles, such as volunteering my co-deactivator for the most dangerous assignments.
I’m not totally heartless. I’d only work with a co-deactivator who had a horrible life to begin with. That way there’s less at stake. And I’d save a ton of money on training him when to cut the blue wire or the red one. It wouldn’t matter that much to either of us.
I’m always thinking.