By now you’ve all seen the story about the French soccer player, Zidane, who got ejected from the World Cup finals against Italy for head-butting a player who was allegedly insulting Zidane’s mother and sister.
I love many things about this story. I hardly know where to start.
First, I love the fact that Zidane used a soccer move against his victim. He headed the guy like he’d head a soccer ball. Apparently he’s very good at heading things. If you haven’t seen the video, it’s impressive.
I wonder if other professionals attack people using the skills they picked up on the job. Would a pizza maker throw his victim in the air and twirl him? Would a shoe salesman tie the attacker’s laces together? Would a fireman grab him by the hose? These are the questions that keep me up.
My favorite part of the story is that Zidane’s ejection probably cost his team the World Cup championship. Zidane said in a news conference “I tell myself that if things happened this way, it’s because somewhere up there it was decided that way.”
So I try to imagine God making this decision about how to end the World Cup. He was probably talking to one of the sporty angels; let’s call him Jose.
God: “How do you think we should end this World Cup, Jose?”
Jose: “Kill them all with lightning!”
God: “Nah. Too obvious. I want something unique.”
Jose: “Maybe you could have the bald guy head-butt that other guy.”
God: “Why would he do that? He needs a reason.”
Jose: “You could make that other guy insult the bald guy’s mother and sister.”
God: “What would he say?”
Jose: “Why do you keep asking me questions when you already know what I’m thinking?”
God: “Good point. Okay, you’re thinking I should make the one guy say the other guy’s mother is a two-dollar donkey whore and his sister is the fluffer.”
Jose: “Hee hee!”
I remind you that this is not MY opinion of what God said. All I’m doing is describing one French guy’s religion. So don’t hold it against me. I believe that everyone has a right to his beliefs.