I am appalled at the low quality of spam lately. If someone is trying to scam me, I expect him to put some effort into it. Here are a few of the subject lines that ended up in my spam folder today:
Re: it see to amiss
Re: Damiana one of the Penis Enlarge Patch ingredients has been
Re: Learn to be ritzy
Re: NEW age of good old PENPILs.Scientists says YES!
Are these guys even TRYING? I have some respect for the spam with subject lines such as “From Bob” or “quick question.” Those are good attempts. If I’m not paying attention, I might even open one of those. But who opens a message titled “Re: NEW age of good old PENPILs.Scientists says YES!”?
The scary part is that every spam message probably works on at least one person. I imagine some guy named Barney in Florida opening his e-mail, seeing the subject line “Re: it see to amiss” and thinking “this must be from one of my friends.” Then he opens it, only to be surprised that it’s a pitch for penile enlargement pills that also cure baldness and help you pick winning penny stocks.
Now at this point you might expect Barney to wonder why he hasn’t seen stories all over the news about this miracle breakthrough drug. But he doesn’t wonder. All he knows is that he’s poor, bald, and hung like a frozen caterpillar. For the low price of $29.95 he can fix all of that without leaving home. He figures it might be a scam, but can he really take the chance that it’s not? So Barney places his order for the miracle pill and wonders why the Nigerian vendor needs his social security number.
Speaking of social security numbers, I think the government should send spam to all citizens. If someone like Barney tries to buy a miracle pill, the government erases his social security number from their records so he can’t vote. It would solve a lot of problems.