According to a special on the ABC network, 9-11 happened because Bill Clinton was preoccupied with a sex scandal. I hope the authors of history books migrate toward that opinion. It would make 8th grade a lot more entertaining, especially since 9-11 will probably lead to WWIII between radical Islam on one side and various radical infidels on the other. I figure we’re one dirty bomb away from that.
Teacher: “Billy, can you explain what caused World War III?”
Billy: “Some skank in a blue dress gave the president a hummer?”
Teacher: “Very good, Billy. For homework I would like the class to depict the scene using macaroni.”
Speaking of WWIII, I worry that the Pope might have inadvertently accelerated it with his latest comments about Islam. I don’t know if the Pope has annual performance reviews with God, but I don’t think he’s in for a big raise this year.
God: “Okay, let’s take a look at your accomplishments for the year. Holy Me! You killed a billion people!”
Pope: “Well, that’s one way to look at it. But I like to think that TWO billion would have died if I hadn’t reminded people that war is bad. So I actually saved a billion, not counting the ones that got trampled to death coming to hear me say it.”