The other day my brother asked why I was sending him an e-mail at 4 am. This is not unusual for me because I often have trouble sleeping. That night was typical. It went like this:
First I was too hot to sleep. Then there was the nightmare of being chased by armed gunmen. Then I got itchy. Then I woke myself up with my own snoring (hate that). Then the cats tried to sleep on my feet. Then it started to get too cold with the window open.
It was one of those nights when my mouth kept falling open while I slept, which dried out my throat, which made me keep reaching for my bottled water on the nightstand, which made me get up and wiz three times.
I use my Blackberry as a flashlight when I take late night bathroom runs, and sometimes I make the mistake of checking for messages on the way back. There was one from my e-mail friend in Egypt. Now I’m laying in bed formulating my response to his theories about the president of Iran.
By now the little pillow I keep between my knees has fallen on the floor and I can’t decide if it’s worth picking it up. Has it become mandatory or is it just nice? Can I sleep with my knees touching? There’s no such thing as an easy question when you’re tired.
Suddenly I realize that the top of my pillow is slightly too warm because my head has been on it, whereas the bottom is slightly too cool. And the cats are on my feet again. I’m itchy, my throat is dry, and I’m wondering if the President of Iran wants to incinerate me with a nuclear weapon. If I fall asleep again, will I be back in the dream where bad people are chasing me? Is my tossing and turning waking up my new wife? Will she start to hate me for keeping her awake?
So I got up and started my day.
They say that you need less sleep as you get older. Eventually, when you get so old that you don’t need any sleep at all, you die. I figure I have another month or two.