Have you been following the story of John Mark Karr? He’s the guy who confessed to killing the little girl, JonBenet Ramsey. He was cleared by DNA testing. Then he was arrested for child porn in an unrelated case. Those charges just got dropped.
I’m wondering what kind of career you can have after you tell everyone that you’re a pedophile child killer but it turns out that you’re really only a liar, at least about the killing part. And you’re so incompetent that you can’t even successfully go to jail. I think the answer is obvious:
He will run for Congress.
He’ll fit right in. He already has the lying part down. And he’s been sitting around in jail for months, so he’s got the “do nothing” part nailed too. The best part is that the public hates Congress more than they hate people who may or may not have killed a child and may or may not be pedophiles. He’ll bring up the average.
Getting elected will be easy. Karr has name recognition, and that almost always predicts the winner. We Americans are easily bored by “issues.” We prefer celebrities such as Sonny Bono and Ronald Reagan and Arnold Scwarzenegger and anything Kennedy. We would elect a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts if it believed in the Rapture.
Karr might even run unopposed. I mean, who would take a chance of running against a confessed child killer and losing? That’s a stain you can’t get off your resume.
If I voted, I’d vote for Karr just because he might have entertaining political views. For example, does he favor stem cell research or does he just want to have sex with them before killing them, allegedly?
And for once we’d have a politician who is willing to take responsibility. In fact, he’d probably confess to causing global warming. “I intentionally ate too many burritos. It’s all my fault. Seriously. I’m gassy.”
He’d be like a breath of fresh air, ironically.