It’s generally accepted that humorists can poke fun at people for the choices they make but not the things outside of their control. For example, I can mock people who break laws, or support bad political decisions, or spend all of their money on dumbass things. Society calls those things “choices” because we have a collective delusion about the existence of free will. And while I don’t buy into that superstition, I share the perception that some things APPEAR to be choices. And those are fair game for humor. It’s not a rational way to sort things, but as long as everyone agrees, it works.
Still, there are gray areas. Science keeps moving particular behaviors from the choice category to the genetic propensity category. These days only the religious and/or clueless still believe it’s entirely a choice to be gay, as in “Hey, I think I’ll be gay today!”
We know that there’s a strong genetic propensity for alcoholism. We know that severely depressed people can’t just choose to “get over it.” We know that pedophiles can’t choose to be attracted exclusively to adults. The more we learn about the brain, the more we chip away at the notion of “choices.”
That’s why I have a personal preference to avoid fat jokes. No one chooses to be overweight. We’re all moist robots and some of us have programs in our brains that make food especially enjoyable. If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I’d be a 400 pound guy.
With that background in mind, I decided not to submit the following comic for newspapers. I intended it to be a clever commentary on the non-existence of free will. But in the execution it comes off looking like a fat joke. So you won’t see this one in newspapers.
Click on the picture to see it large.
[missing image]
In its place will be a comic that starts the same but has a harmless third panel. I can’t show that version until January 7th because newspapers have a contractual right to first dibs.