Did you see this disturbing story in National Geographic?
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/03/070314-hybrids.html [no longer available]
It turns out that sometimes two species can mate and produce a new species. This is the sort of news that makes bestiality less appealing. How many humans saw that story and said to themselves, “Uh-oh”?
I suppose the people who prefer getting jiggy with animals would say there are many advantages to it: economics, unconditional love, no complaining, etc. But right at the top of the list had to be “no birth control needed.” Now that theory is out the door. It’s as if all of life’s pleasures are being chipped away by an angry God. I don’t know how else to explain it.
Now I’m on the lookout for people who are part human and part some-other-species. I know they’re out there. And the whole “people who look like their dogs” thing has taken on an entirely new interpretation.
Have you ever seen a parked car with a dog sitting in the driver’s seat? You usually say to whoever you’re with, “Ha ha! It looks like that dog is getting ready to drive!” Well, that’s not so funny any more. I suggest you keep an eye on that car and see if the dog pulls out and drives home. He might look like a terrier on top, but if he has human legs, he can reach the pedals.
The thing that worries me the most is that now I have a new wrong thing to say when someone shows me their baby. It’s already hard enough to resist saying, “It looks like Yoda.” Now I have to worry about not saying, “It looks half human and half pug.” I don’t have that kind of self-control, and it’s probably because I’m at least one-fourth Chihuahua. [Note to my Mom: I mean on Dad’s side.]
What about competing with these new hybrids in the workforce? Imagine going in for a job interview as a busser in a restaurant, and the applicant next to you is half cheetah. You don’t have a chance. You turn to make conversation, trying to throw him off his game before the interview, and it would go something like this:
You: “So, do you have much experience bussing tables?”
Cheetah-man: “Just a moment, it’s my turn to interview….done. I got the job. What was your question?”
Nothing good can come from this.