I wonder who holds the record for being the victim of the most crimes. I might have a shot at that record. Here’s my list.
– Assault by pistol (1)
– Robbed by large knife (1)
– Death threats (1)
– Apartment robbed (2)
– Garage robbed (2)
– Embezzled (2)
– Robbed at gunpoint (3)
– Car stereos stolen (5)
– Service people overcharging, scamming (approx. 25)
– Customer theft at my restaurants, e.g. stolen salt shakers (approx. 500)
– Employee theft at my restaurants (approx. 1,000)
– E-mail scam attempts sent to [email protected] (approx. 50,000)
– Dilbert comics stolen (approx. 250,000,000)
I’m probably leaving out a few things. The Dilbert comic theft might be an underestimate. I have documentation of 25 million thefts from the Internet alone in the past 12 months. It adds up.
Famous musicians get downloaded a lot. But they don’t produce a new song every day, as I produce a new comic. So I probably have the edge there because I create more items to steal. And some big corporations probably get robbed a lot if, for example, they own a chain of convenience stores. But those are companies, not individuals. If you divide those thefts by the number of stockholders, it’s not so much per person.
Seriously, who gets robbed more than me? I’m not complaining. My life is great. But I wonder if I hold the record.
[Update: Just to be clear, the comic theft is only the people stealing it for financial gain. Yes, the number is that big. No cartoonist minds someone making a copy for personal use.]