The fun thing about having surgery to correct a deviated septum is that you get to see so many new things. Not right away, of course. After the surgery it’s annoying that you can’t get oxygen through your nose, making it impossible to sleep for several days. But later, after your will to live evaporates completely from the sleep deprivation, you can kick back and enjoy the hallucinations.
For example, blurred vision is highly underrated. It turns out that most people are considerably more attractive when you can’t see them clearly. And I no longer have the urge to go sailing, thanks to the fact that every room is already liquid and undulating. By tomorrow I hope to see colorful trails and with any luck a bright light beckoning me to join dead relatives.
The pain medication has the usual warnings about not operating motor vehicles. I expected that. But it also had a warning against signing legal documents. I’ve never seen that before and frankly it seems a bit overdone. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to pop a couple of pills and suddenly decide to give away one of my books for free on the Internet, or post a blog entry inviting thousands of people to tell me why I’m stupid.
What?
Oh crap.