Traditionally, the word sheikh has been a title of respect for an old, scholarly, tribal elder. Lately it refers to anyone who is a leader. If they keep lowering the bar, you have a good chance of someday being one.
Sheikh is a great word on several levels. First, there’s the silent h on the end that practically says “fuck you.” It doesn’t even pretend to be working. I like consonants with attitude.
Second, the word just rolls off the tongue in a pleasing way. It sounds like my impression of an arrow flying through the air and hitting its target. Try it at home: sheeeeeeek.
My new goal is to be known as Sheikh Adams. For that, I’ll have to become a leader of some sort. Unfortunately, I am not evil enough to inspire people to do things that are not in their best interest, the way a proper leader would: “Ignore those machine guns and charge the hill!”
The best I can do is to inspire my followers to do what they want to do anyway. Today I would like each one of you to eat, poop, and have an orgasm. (Not at the same time.) Once you have completed the Holy Trinity, or whatever you call it in your house, you may refer to me as Sheikh Adams.
Is that enough disturbing juxtaposition for one day?