In your comments to my blog about torturing terrorists, several people said we shouldn’t abandon the ideals of the Founding Fathers of the United States. So I started wondering what those ideals were.
Before I go on, let me say that I’m highly patriotic, despite what you read here. Please don’t ask me to move to Venezuela.
As you know, the Founding Fathers had a lot of time to write things down because they didn’t have television, and there are only so many hours that you can spend whittling new teeth. But I don’t believe they ever got together and created a document called the Bill of Ideals. To understand their ideals we must look to their actions. Here are a few of the ideals they apparently shared:
1. Slavery – excellent source of poontang
2. Women voting? That’s crazy talk!
3. People who don’t own land suck
4. A good way to change tax policy is through violence
5. It’s not really crossdressing if you also wear manly boots.
6. Treason is okay if you have a good reason.
7. No one wants to sit next to Ben Franklin
Moments ago as I was searching the Internet for some Founding Father tidbits upon which I could wittily comment, I came across this historical fact about the Louisiana Purchase:
“Though the transaction was quickly sealed, there were those who objected to the purchase on the grounds that the Constitution did not provide for purchasing territory. However, Jefferson temporarily set aside his idealism to tell his supporters in Congress that “what is practicable must often control what is pure theory.” The majority agreed.
Jefferson later admitted that he had stretched his power ‘till it cracked’ in order to buy Louisiana, the largest single land purchase in American history. As a result, generations of Americans for nearly 200 years have been the beneficiaries of Jefferson’s noble vision of America and his efforts at expanding the continent.”
I found it at this web site in case you want to check for yourself.
http://earlyamerica.com/earlyamerica/milestones/louisiana/ [no longer available]
As I suspected, the Founding Fathers were a practical bunch of dudes. I’m fairly certain that Jefferson shared the Plumber’s Creed: If you want to stop the leak before it floods the house, sometimes you have to bend until you (show) crack.