A number of celebrities, notably Madonna, are embracing a religion called Kabbalah. Celebrities I say! That is all the endorsement I need. I decided it was time to look into it.
I started with Wikipedia. Here’s what I learned about Kabbalah:
1. It’s all very confusing.
2. No one is quite sure what it is, including the people doing it.
3. Old dead people are somehow to blame.
4. Mastering Kabbalah gives you insight into God, as far as you know.
To master Kabbalah, first you must learn to understand a special language called gobbledygook. For example, in Kabbalah-talk, the definition of tzimtzum goes like this:
“The act whereby God contracted his infinite light, leaving a void into which the light of existence was poured. The primal emanation became Azilut, the World of Light, from which the three lower worlds, Beriah, Yetzirah and Assiyah, descended.”
I’m sure you had the same reaction I did when I read about tzimtzum: “I must renounce my current beliefs and dedicate my life to Kabbalah!”
You and I have a lot of work to do. Personally, I don’t know my Assiyah from my elbow. But I figure it won’t be hard to learn because most of it is just common sense. For example, the Neshamah Yeseira is the “supplemental soul” that a Jew can experience on Shabbat. In other words, “duh.” I knew that.
My only concern is that Kabbalah might give me insight into God and I’ll find out some things I really didn’t want to know. I mean, what if I find out God likes squirrels more than he likes me? Sooner or later I’m going to hit a squirrel with my car and I’ll never again feel comfortable going outside unless I have a lightning rod strapped to my hat.
What would be the most disturbing thing you could find out about God?