Just when you thought all the news was depressing, The Daily News reports that Miss USA Tara Connor was spotted dancing sexily and making out with 18-year old Miss Teen USA in clubs. Miss USA also allegedly tested positive for cocaine.
Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA pageant, is reportedly considering taking away Miss USA’s crown as soon as he can stand up. He’s been behind his desk since Thursday muttering “hummahummahumma.”
There’s no word on what Trump plans to do with Miss Teen USA but I’m sure he has several ideas. The man is always thinking.
It seems so old-fashioned to penalize Miss USA for having fun. I say it’s time to update the pageant to include competitions for sexy dancing and making out with other beauty queens. If the pageant isn’t willing to keep up with the times, they might as well have a butter churning competition, which by the way would be totally hot in my opinion. Anyway, my point is that times change. The pageant needs to keep up.
I don’t know all of the duties of a reigning Miss USA, but I assume she represents America in the United Nations. I’d love to see her debate Iran in the General Assembly, preferably with frequent breaks to make out with Miss Teen USA.
Miss USA: “And this is why the USA demands inspections of your…hold on… MMM-MMM-MMM … okay, where was I. Hey, do you mind if I do a line off of your turban?”
I suppose Trump’s argument is that Miss USA has not been upholding a proper image. But who would you rather have representing your country – a do-gooder who yammers about world peace, or the hot chick who’s trying to pin Miss Florida against the bar? America is all about freedom, not imposing your views on others. I say let Miss USA be free, like the great nation she represents. If we start restricting Miss USA’s right to party, the Taliban has won.