My favorite news story recently is about Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson. The FBI allegedly videotaped him accepting $100,000 in cash from an informant. When the authorities searched his house they found the cash in his freezer, wrapped in food containers and aluminum foil. The serial numbers allegedly match the money the informant gave him.
That’s not the funny part, although it’s a good start. The funny part is that he’s claiming he’s innocent. I’m trying to imagine him on the witness stand explaining all of this away.
Prosecution: “Congressman Jefferson, why did you put the money in food containers and store it in your freezer?”
Jefferson: “Well, I like my money to be chilled.”
Prosecution: “What?”
Jefferson: “Yes sir. I find that if I cool it to about 16 degree Fahrenheit, it doesn’t stick together. You should try it.”
Prosecution: “Why did you think our informant was giving you $100,000 in cash? Didn’t it seem like a bribe?”
Jefferson: “Heck no. You’d be surprised how many times people have given me $100,000 for no reason whatsoever. I had to put a second refrigerator in the garage just to keep it all chilled.”
Prosecution: “You have a second refrigerator?”
Jefferson: “Um…I’ll say no.”
Prosecution: “You just said you do.”
Jefferson: “You can’t prove that.”
Anyway, the point is that I have to admire his optimism.