My favorite story of the week is about Pope Benedict inadvertently insulting Islam in a speech. He quoted a Byzantine emperor who called Islam “evil and inhuman” but made it clear that it wasn’t his own opinion.
In response to being labeled evil and inhuman by a dead Byzantine emperor, a group of Muslims did what anyone would do in that situation: They firebombed two churches in the West Bank.
This is funny on so many levels that I hardly know where to start. But let me begin by saying WHAT THE HELL ARE CHURCHES DOING IN THE WEST BANK?????????
There wasn’t much detail in the article I read, but I’m assuming those churches were made of straw and had bulls eyes painted on the steeples. I don’t even think the Crocodile Hunter would have attended services in one of those churches. I can imagine the conversation today between the guy who recommended building churches in the epicenter of religious violence and the people who told him it was a bad idea. If he’s smart – probably for the first time – he’s blaming God. “He is testing us.”
Second, I love the fact that the Vatican’s official position is that Muslims should be treated with “esteem.” According to my dictionary, esteem is a very weasely word. It can mean “high regard,” and that’s a nice compliment. But it can also mean “the regard in which one is held” which is a broad concept encompassing everything from “really groovy” to “bearded turds.”
The Pope is in a tricky situation. He can either say that he believes Muslims picked the wrong religion, thereby triggering massive violence. Or he can be a liar with a funny hat. He thought he found a clever middle ground that involves attributing any bad thoughts about Islam to a dead guy and employing weasel words that sound like compliments. So far it isn’t working.
Just to make things extra interesting, the Pope is planning a trip to Turkey. I wonder what code name his security team has given him for this trip. Any guesses?
Tip: Your guess will be funnier if you put it in this sentence: “Attention all units, [code name] is on the move.”