Investigators recently completed a three-year study to assess the benefits of praying for heart bypass patients. It turns out that that the prayed-for group didn’t do any better than the non-prayed-for people. In fact, the people who knew they were being prayed for actually did a little worse.
The researchers theorized that people get stressed out when they know people are praying for them. I can see that. I’d hate to think that my grasp on life was so tenuous that it depended on a bunch of goobers praying for me in just the right way
“Please God, heal the cartoonist Scott Adams. And if it’s not too much trouble, I would like a talking pony.” One slip like that and I’d be clutching my chest and doing the dirt dance.
I don’t think I’m going too far out on a limb when I say that if people get unhealthier when you pray for them, maybe you shouldn’t call God’s attention to the sick. Sometimes it’s better to get him focusing someplace else with his mysterious ways. It’s the same concept you use to manage your mysterious boss. You want your boss to spend as little time as possible thinking about your project and as much time as possible interfering with your coworkers.
And what’s up with the people who pray for material things? If you believe that God answers prayers for merchandise, it means the gap between the Almighty creator of the universe and Walmart is closing. God still has the lowest prices and widest selection, but how long can that last?
I have to say that I wasn’t surprised to learn that praying for sick people didn’t help. If praying worked, convenience stores would have lines of monks down the block every time the lottery reached $100 million.
But I was delighted to learn that I can hurt people by praying for them. Now when I get mad at someone, I no longer need to say that I wish he was dead. I’ll just say, “I’ll pray for your health,” thus killing him.
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa006&articleID=000AFE22-9D1E-146C-9D1E83414B7F0000&colID=5 [no longer available]