Someone asked me about my pet peeves. Here’s a few that spring to mind.
Ambiguous Tipping Situations
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For example, I once gave a speech on an island that doesn’t allow tipping. Gratuities were built-in to the charges. This concept made me happy. But when I showed up, a guy took my bag from the car and loaded it onto the ferry that was going TO the island. Was this part of the no-tipping zone or was it the last guy I have to tip before being ON the island. GAAA!!!
Wrongly Accused Dumbass
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One of the drawbacks of being unusually smart is that I rarely do things the way other people think those things should be done. This often makes me look like a dumbass. In theory, if I had infinite time, I could explain all of my actions to anyone who cared to listen. At the end of this explanation they would probably say, “I understand, now that you’ve explained it for the past three hours.” But I don’t have that kind of patience. Consequently, even my closest friends think I’m a dumbass half of the time, when I know it’s only a third of the time, tops.
Unclear Queues
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It bugs me when I can’t figure out who is next in line. I always blame the second person who arrived. The first person is blameless because one person can’t form a line even if he tries. But that second bastard can doom 20 people to incurable tension by refusing to stand directly behind the first person in an obvious “this is the line” fashion. That second idiot will start drifting to the side, perhaps checking out nearby merchandise or reading signs. That’s when the trouble begins.
The third person arrives and has no idea where to stand. It’s starting to look random. By the fifth person, the odds skyrocket that I will be accused of line-cutting no matter what I do. I spend my entire time in line rehearsing my imaginary defense for how I really was behind the guy that keeps wandering around.
Have any good peeves?