I’ve noticed that whenever Americans are criticized by residents of other countries, I find myself agreeing. Don’t get me wrong – I love my country and I think every other country sucks way more than America does.
But when someone calls America arrogant, I have a hard time disagreeing. We ARE arrogant. In fact, I can’t think of a single time I’ve heard an American deny that charge. We usually just change the subject and point out that the complainer’s country is a loser-infested turdball. In other words, we act arrogant. But we never deny it.
Likewise when America is accused of being warmongering Jesus-spouting hypocrites, my first reaction isn’t “Take that back!” I usually just nod and mutter something like, “Good point.” We Americans (usually) think our warmongering is in the name of self-defense or helping a buddy, but it IS hard to reconcile it with What Would Jesus Do?
That’s not the funny part. The funny part is wondering if other countries hear American criticisms of them and think “You nailed me!” For example, I think I speak for almost all Americans when I say this about the countries in the Middle East: You’re all ignorant, psycho, dickheads.
Please allow me to clarify that I’m talking about the COUNTRIES in general and not each individual resident. Just as there are Americans who are not arrogant, warmongering hypocrites, there are surely plenty of people in the Middle East who are enlightened and reasonable. Unfortunately, none of those people seem to be in charge. If Gandhi reincarnated in the Middle East tomorrow, they would have to hold a lottery to see who beheaded him first.
At least that’s how it seems from the arrogant, warmongering hypocrite perspective.
I was thinking of this recently because the media has reported two cases of leaders in the Middle East acknowledging, in their own way, that they might in fact be ignorant, psycho, dickheads. The leader of Hezbollah said in an interview that kidnapping the two Israeli soldiers was a mistake because of all the destruction it sparked. And a Hamas leader recently went on record saying Palestinians had to take blame for the crumbling of their society after Israel pulled out.
It’s hard to gain respect from an arrogant, warmongering hypocrite, especially when you’re an ignorant, psycho dickhead. But self-criticism does get our attention. Somehow it reduces the need to be arrogant, warmongering and hypocritical. I wonder if it works both ways? Would the Middle East be less like ignorant, psycho dickheads if America were less arrogant, warmongering and hypocritical? I don’t know the answer. It’s just interesting to think about.
And then there’s Israel. In a way, they’re like the illegitimate child of America and the Middle East. They inherited some of the worst bits from both sides. So while Americans have an unconditional love for Israel, we also think it’s an arrogant, warmongering, hypocritical, ignorant, psycho dickheaded country. In other words, it’s just like any other teenager.
So the bottom line is that America is the father, the Islamic countries in the Middle East are the mother, and Israel is the offspring conceived by rape.
I know this post sounds harsh, but I think self-criticism is always the first step toward a solution. And if anyone is incapable of self-criticism, I will be happy to give suggestions on where to start. That’s what arrogant friends are for.