Today in the news there’s an accusation that a Polish spy was working in the Vatican during Pope John Paul’s days before the Iron Curtain fell.
It seems to me that spying on the Pope would be the best job you could ever have. You could make up all of your spy reports and never be wrong.
Spy Report for Tuesday: Today the Pope is planning to wave at people from a safe distance.
Spy Report for Wednesday: The Pope still has no date for the weekend.
Spy Report for Thursday: I have reason to believe that the Pope opposes war.
What secrets could a Pope possibly have? Did Jesus return to earth and the Pope is keeping him in a glass display case in his office? Did the Pope have a pet penguin he refers to as Sister Jenna Jameson? Does the Pope have a statue of Shiva in his bathroom to hold the extra rolls of toilet paper? Does the Pope have illegal cable so he can watch Entourage while doing beer bongs?
I’m going to say no on all of those questions. But if you still have doubts, you might want to get yourself a spy. They can’t cost that much.