Did you read about the Nebraska state senator who is suing God to make a point about frivolous lawsuits?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20827350/ [no longer available]
Your first reaction might be that God has infinite resources and could mount a perfect defense. But I think God would stay out of the details, as usual, and end up with a public defender. This presents the very real possibility that God could lose the case.
I sure hope it goes to trial. Imagine how interesting that would be. First, how do you select a jury of God’s peers? Compared to the Almighty, even Buddha is just a guy who should use the stairs more often. The entire jury would end up being doctors who sometimes play God, and arborists, who can, sort of, make a tree, if they have acorns. That’s the best you can do.
What happens when you call God to the stand? Does he have to take an oath and promise to tell the truth “so help me me”? I don’t see how that could be anything but awkward.
I think the judge would hold God in contempt because all of his answers would seem to be smart alecky.
Lawyer: “Where were you on the night of the tornado?”
God: “Um, everywhere. Same as always. Go to Hell. Seriously.”
God doesn’t use money, so you’d have to sue him for a small portion of his infinite powers. I’d take the power to heal and only use it on myself, so sick people aren’t always pestering me. That would be great during cold season. I’d never wash my hands again.
Me: “Cough, cough, COLD BE GONE! Aaaah, better.”
God’s public defender wouldn’t be able to claim his client didn’t perform the acts of God for which he is accused. I mean, they’re acts of God, ferchrissake. And the defender can’t prove his client wasn’t there. He’s everywhere. God has a well-documented history of smiting humans, the motive, and the opportunity. That’s a strong case.
The only defense that could work is insanity. The public defender would have to prove God is inconsistent in his thinking. You might think that argument is easy to make, but God would be good under cross-examination.
Lawyer: “Do you love people.”
God: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “Then why am I hung like a frozen caterpillar?”
God: “Well, I’m not wild about lawyers. But you said ‘people.’”