As regular readers of this blog know, all coincidences are clues that we are holograms programmed by our long dead ancestors before the planet was annihilated. How else could you explain the two stories forwarded to me today?
1. A Republican Senator has been arrested for lewd conduct in a restroom.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20467347/ [no longer available]
2. Monkeys are sexually harassing women.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6959209.stm
This is a classic case of code reuse by our lazy ancestors who created our hologram. It’s practically the same story, i.e. an ugly male primate engages in allegedly inappropriate sexual advances. The programmers simply randomized some of the less important elements such as the type of primate, the location, and the intended sex partners. And remember this comes on the heels of the story I wrote about recently: Dwarf has sex with vacuum cleaner. It’s the same damned story with different characters.
Indeed, all of the news is nothing but basic stories with randomized features. Watch as I predict tomorrow’s headlines today:
EXTREME WEATHER BATTERS SOMEPLACE
IDIOTS KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE
POLITICIAN DOES SOMETHING ILLEGAL
PRIMATE ATTEMPTS INAPPROPRIATE SEX
EXPERTS WARN OF FINANCIAL CALAMITY
BIG COMPANY BUYS ANOTHER BIG COMPANY
FAMOUS PERSON DOES SOMETHING INTERESTING
A SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY MIGHT BE USEFUL IN TEN YEARS
GOVERNMENT FAILS TO ACHIEVE A GOAL
The real test of our hologram existence would be my ability to predict the future. In theory, if I am a replica of the actual human who programmed me, I would think the way he did. Therefore, the future will turn out much the way I would program it if it were up to me. So here’s my prediction:
Many of you will leave a comment complaining that I blog too much about our hologram existence. Some people will be compelled to mention The Matrix.