Tag: Current Affairs

Does it seem suspicious to you that ex-Enron CEO Ken Lay died right before they could put his guilty ass behind bars? I wonder how many doctors you need to bribe to fake your own death. Is one enough? Or is there some special double-checking that the police do if…

I was delighted to learn that American politicians are trying to make it illegal to burn the American flag. That can only mean that my dedicated public servants have finally solved the problems of crime, drugs, war, poverty, terrorism, healthcare, immigration, and the mystery of why our children are such…

Well, Al-Qaida has identified the would-be 20th hijacker for Sept 11th. His first name is Turki. No, seriously. That’s the name of the terrorist who didn’t make it into the top 95% percentile of would-be September 11th hijackers. It comes as no surprise that he has since been killed in…

Today’s review of the headlines informs me that a sex offender tried to acquire an ice cream truck. In unrelated news, American Idol winner Ruben Studdard successfully sued his ex-manager for stealing money and credit cards. These stories fit neatly into my economic theory that most salesmen of women’s shoes…

There are words that I never learn to spell, no matter how many times I look them up, and it bugs me. Today is one of those days where I don’t feel like Googling the proper spelling of the terrorist group al-kayda, or El-coodah, whatever. Today only, I will spell…

I heard on the news that terrorist al-Zarqawi didn’t die right away from the bombing. Apparently he turned and muttered something incomprehensible to the police before he died. This got me wondering what he muttered. I’m sure you can come up with some good guesses. My best guess is something…

My good friend Marsha used to have the best birthday date ever. It was the sort of date you could easily remember because it’s the number you dial in America when you are calling for emergency services: 9/11. Unfortunately for Marsha, her birthday got ruined by pesky terrorists. Today is…

As a rule, I don’t like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it’s really, really funny. Did you see the Reuters story about the man that jumped into a lion’s habitat at the Kiev zoo and yelled “God will save me, if…

I came across this article on the web about the benefits of reading. http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/departments/elementary/?article=WhatEffectReadingHasonOurMinds&GT1=8236 [no longer available] The article mentions a test of 268 U.S. College students that found 70% of them believe that Jewish people outnumber Muslims in the world. (There are 800 million Muslims and only 20 million…

I keep wondering what would happen if terrorists demanded something that we wanted to give them anyway. Would we need to concoct some reason why we can’t give it to them so we don’t encourage more terrorism? It sounds ridiculous, but we’re getting closer to that situation. For example, the…

My favorite news story recently is about Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson. The FBI allegedly videotaped him accepting $100,000 in cash from an informant. When the authorities searched his house they found the cash in his freezer, wrapped in food containers and aluminum foil. The serial numbers allegedly match the money…

I was surprised at how many of you believe that nothing the United States does in terms of foreign policy would make any difference to the average non-terrorist Muslim that is supporting the terrorists. You believe that their objections to U.S. foreign policy are a smokescreen and that they just…

The other day I asked if anyone could explain why we give foreign aid to Israel. I received about 25 alleged reasons. As readers of this blog already know, when something has one reason, there’s a healthy chance that it’s a good reason. When something has 25 completely different reasons,…

In my prior blog post I said that the terrorists would have less justification to attack the U.S. if we discontinued our support for Israel. Many of you were quick to point out that the crazy terrorists would hate us just as much and want to kill us just as…

I’m hoping one of you can explain something to me. I tried to figure out how much money the U.S. gives to Israel every year. It’s hard to determine the figure because the assistance takes different forms and there are different opinions about how to count it. For example, the…