Tag: General nonsense

I was just talking to a friend who said he booked a trip to Ireland on Aer Lingus. This made me wonder what would happen if that airline merged with, oh, let’s say Continental Airlines. This new company, potentially named Conaerlingus, would get people’s attention. But would you be concerned…

When you see people who are struggling in life, you probably feel an urge to help. You might talk yourself out it, because you have your own problems, or you don’t know how to help in any lasting way, or there are just too many people in need. But you…

Did you read about the Zimbabwean female athlete who has a penis, a vagina, and a last name of Sithole? That’s what I call covering all the bases. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4249949.stm The athlete claims she was born with both male and female sex organs, and a traditional healer made the penis “disappear”…

Last week I appeared “live” in the virtual world of Second Life to promote my new book. (Have I mentioned it?) My avatar (a character that looks like me) answered questions in a theater packed with other avatars. Then I let them come on stage and kick my in the…

Sometimes, just to test my point of view, I like to take the opposite side and defend it. For example, I think attacking Iraq was a huge mistake. So today I will make my best argument for the other side. First, you have to separate the outcome, which is unknown,…

There are a lot of Christians in the world. They seem happy with their choice of religion. There are a lot of Hindus too, and they seem just as happy. It’s the same with the Buddhists, atheists, and Muslims. Your choice of religion, or no religion, seems to have no…

Did you see the story about a man arrested for having sex with a bicycle? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml [no longer available] I imagine the police interviewing him after his arrest. It probably went something like this: Detective: Do you confess to having sex with a bicycle? Bike Humper: Yes. Detective: Was it…

From now on, I am only going to buy stock in companies that have the greatest disparity between the compensation of the CEO and the compensation of the workers. Thanks to a little thing I call science, this strategy looks like a winner. Yes, I will explain. I came across…

Tomorrow night, October 30th, at 9 pm EST, you can log on to the virtual world called Second Life (for free), and have your avatar kick my avatar in the nuts. Or punch me, or slap me. Seriously. I took digital photos of my head from all angles and had…

One of the many flaws in my personality is that I am not spontaneous. I confess I am baffled by the entire concept. First, how do you define spontaneity? Is it even a real thing, or just a superstition? Is spontaneity based on how far in advance you have an…

Did you read about the six beer-drinking elephants in India? The elephants found drums of fermenting rice beer on a farm, partied too hard, then uprooted utility poles and electrocuted themselves. The fascinating part is that because they are elephants, they still remember that night. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21432722/?GT1=10450 [no longer available] My…

Did you see in the news that a woman has accused famous magician David Copperfield of sexual assault? http://openbanter.com/showpost.php?id=621 [no longer available] If he’s innocent, I would like to be David Copperfield’s defense lawyer. I would argue that my client doesn’t need to assault women because he knows magic. When…

Last night I attended a meeting at our local school. It was part of a larger program put on by the police to teach parents how to prevent their kids from using drugs when they get older. My personal objective was to make it through the night without making any…

I put a question on Predictify.com asking how many of my new book would be in print by the end of January. The average of the predictions is over 304,000. http://www.predictify.com/AuctionView.aspx?ID=176 [no longer available] As the creator of the question, I get special rights to look at the demographics of the…

You can only imagine how many people forwarded me the story about a gang of monkeys attacking and killing the deputy mayor of Delhi, in India. Apparently this had “my kind of story” written all over it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7055625.stm According to the BBC, devout Hindus think monkeys are the manifestation of…