Tag: General nonsense

In yesterday’s post I dared to say Paris Hilton entertains me, and I confessed I liked her because she works when she doesn’t need to, she has a sense of humor, and I’ve never heard of her being mean. This caused a Category 5 irony storm in the comments. My…

Well, by now he’s in Paris. I’m referring to Paris Hilton’s boyfriend. Unless you live in a pineapple under the sea, you know that Paris just got out of jail. She’s got some catching up to do. Paris’s legal problems started last year when she was arrested for driving drunk….

I remember the day I got a call from United Media telling me they wanted to offer me a contract to be a syndicated cartoonist. Yay! But hold the champagne, I thought. The contract was for what they call a “development deal.” That means you work together for six months,…

A few years ago I was invited down to DreamWorks to see if there was any potential for collaborating on something non-Dilbert. Nothing ever came of that meeting, but in the process I learned something fascinating that I’ve been puzzling about ever since. Maybe you can help me figure out…

It has come to my attention that most people have no good stories. If you ask people to tell their best stories, you get blank stares and then something along the lines of “Well, once I lost my wallet.” This has long puzzled me because I’m full of stories. How…

In a previous post, I discussed the possibility of NYC mayor Mike Bloomberg running for president. One of the appealing things about him is his lack of blind party loyalty. He’s been a Democrat. He’s been a Republican. Recently he left the Republican Party. People speculate that it’s a first…

Here’s a visual tour of my comic-making process. If you are not already a syndicated cartoonist, just copy these steps. Please excuse the random formatting of this post. I don’t have time to tweak the HTML. Click on the photos to enlarge them. This is me at 4:59 AM, just…

Did you hear about the gigantic flying fish in Florida? Huge sturgeons, up to 200 lbs, are leaping out of the water and attacking people in boats while making it look like accidents. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/06/17/wfish117.xml [no longer available] It’s never a good idea for me to see this sort of story…

My best story is someone else’s best story too. Actually, his might be better. It was about ten years ago. My first hardcover book, The Dilbert Principle, had just hit number one on the New York Times best seller list. I was already getting a lot of media attention because…

In the news, archaeologists with nothing better to do have been digging up graves of prehistoric hunter-gatherers in Europe. They say there’s evidence that human sacrifice was common back then. But I looked at the picture they provided and all I saw was evidence that the skeleton on the left…

As regular readers of this blog know all too well, I like to solve world problems via a process I call “sitting and thinking about stuff.” Today I will describe my solution to the energy problem. I think everyone is looking in the wrong place for additional energy. We’re scratching…

I remember when my bar of soap in the shower was fresh and large and satisfying. I like the way a new bar of soap feels in my hand, all heavy and bursting with potential. It makes you want to shout to the world, “I HAVE PLENTY OF SOAP!” When…

There will be no post for this Sunday. TypePad hiccuped and was hiding the new posts after the old ones for the past few days. That has been resolved and I will resume blogging Monday morning. The “Great Debate” post about what worldview is most dangerous got deleted by me…