Tag: General nonsense

Traditionally, the word sheikh has been a title of respect for an old, scholarly, tribal elder. Lately it refers to anyone who is a leader. If they keep lowering the bar, you have a good chance of someday being one. Sheikh is a great word on several levels. First, there’s…

If all the experts tell you to go right, and you decide to go left, you’re probably stupid. But if you get lucky, and discover a pot of gold along the stupid path, people will call you a leader. You’ll still be stupid, but fewer people will feel the need…

I rarely get to take the moral high ground on any topic. It feels good. I can see why people like it. Conservatives tend to be highly supportive of the troops, at least in their minds. Good for them. I just happen to take my support a little bit further….

I was reading an article about the newish armored vehicles with V-shaped hulls for withstanding IED attacks. Apparently no one has ever been killed by an IED blast in one of these particular vehicles despite thousands of encounters. The military bought 300 of them. They have 35,000 regular Humvees. Does…

Many people forwarded me a link to this story titled “Study Hints that Fruit Flies Have Free Will.” It gave me a good laugh. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18684016/?GT1=9951 [no longer available] My favorite part is where the scientist speculates that if free will exists, it is in the middle ground between randomness and…

In a previous post I said Bill Gates would be a good president because he’s rational, smart, successful, and has a good track record of targeted philanthropy. And he wouldn’t be in it for the money. I soon discovered that Bill Gates is not as beloved as one needs to…

Every now and then I come up with a hypothesis that sounds correct and has the added benefit of being totally impossible to verify. That’s almost as good as knowledge. My hypothesis for today is that a person’s need for social interaction is inversely related to the quality of his…

One of my hobbies is thinking up impractical solutions to world problems. Lately, my favorite problem is how to withdraw from Iraq without allowing a huge increase in civilian deaths. I have a solution. I call my plan the Ironic Peace by Stealing Oil Plan, or IPSOP. The way this…

Last night I was out with friends, and we realized that almost anyone can be funny by inventing famous last words. To test this hypothesis, allow me to prime the pump and then see what you can come up with. FAMOUS LAST WORDS: – You have a secret room under…

I love “near jokes.” These are jokes that don’t make sense, yet are close enough to making sense that your brain experiences a weird little sensation, simultaneously pleasant and uncomfortable. It’s like being tickled until you fart. For example, I saw this story about a fight breaking out at the…

Did you hear that the cremated ashes of the actor who played Scotty on Star Trek are lost? Apparently the rocket carrying them into space ended up in some forest. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18594384/?GT1=9951 [no longer available] I know you probably had the same first thought I did: Frickin’ Romulans! The rocket carrying…

The other day my BlackBerry alarm went off at 5 AM, as usual. For some reason I was abnormally tired so I stayed in bed another hour. At 6 AM I popped out of bed, walked across the street to my office and started my workday. After an hour or…

When I try to imagine an ideal government, it looks a lot like the government of Taiwan. First, they’re democratic. That’s a good start. But the best part is that they have Jerry Springer-like fights in parliament on a regular basis. In today’s news, yet another brawl broke out in…

I can often predict a person’s destiny by his or her appearance. For example, if a regular photograph of you looks exactly like a DUI mug shot, the police will eventually arrest you. Here’s a perfect example: http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=261203&GT1=7703 [no longer available] I can also tell by your weight whether you…

In my recent post about Queen Elizabeth’s visit to America, I inadvertently sparked a mini-debate about WWII. I call that fun. Winning WWII was the ultimate joint effort. But if you go to school in America, you graduate with the impression that the United States was 90% of that victory….