Tag: General nonsense

I’d like to be a saint someday. The only downside is that I’d have to be dead. My first choice is immortality, but it’s always good to have a backup plan. As I understand the sainthood process, first you must be a role model for the Catholic Church. After you…

It’s hard to please my readers. Some of you want more naughtiness in the service of humor, and some of you want more of my brain stimulating thought experiments. Rarely do I get an opportunity to combine ass-related content with the topic of free will. Today is special. Recently, to…

The Boner Theory of Economics states that a man will accept $1 per hour less pay if he is guaranteed a boner on the job. Stated mathematically… $1/hour = 1 boner We can test the validity of this theory by seeing how well it predicts behavior.  For example, the Boner…

Here’s a fun question to ask people after a few drinks: What’s your permanent age? I’ve observed that everyone has a permanent age that appears to be set at birth. For example, I’ve always been 42-years old. I was ill-suited for being a little kid, and didn’t enjoy most kid…

A helpful reader of The Dilbert Blog set up a wiki for The Happiness Formula I recently talked about. http://happinessformula.pbwiki.com/ The password to edit it is “happy.” Have at it. If you’re not familiar with the wiki concept, it allows anyone to edit the information. So if you know a…

The NY Times has an interesting article about translating the Koran. Apparently the literal word of God contains lots of words with multiple meanings. A good example is Chapter 4, Verse 34. According to the NY Times, “The verse says that a rebellious woman should first be admonished, then abandoned…

Many of you read my previous post on the Happiness Formula and asked why “meaning” was the lowest priority. Others asked about the definition of meaning. I bring you answers. Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren’t…

I fantasize about writing a book called The Happiness Formula. The idea would be to create a simple formula for troubleshooting your life and improving your happiness. On page one would be this top formula. Happiness = health + money + social life + meaning The rest of the book…

Did you hear about the Wisconsin man who is charged with having sex with a dead deer that he found in a ditch? http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1122061deer1.html His defense was that the deer was already dead, so it wasn’t technically an “animal” when the sex happened. The judge disagreed and ruled that a…

If you’re a guy, you’ve probably heard way too many times a variation of this not-really-a-question: “Could you hold my purse?” As you know, there is no way to hold a purse in a manly fashion. After sixty seconds of transporting a designer bag full of Tampons and lipstick, your…

I’m reading a great book called “Influence: Science and Practice” by Robert B. Cialdini. It’s full of research and anecdotes about how to influence people. It’s a real eye-opener. One of the most potent forms of persuasion has to do with people’s innate need to be consistent. Studies show that…

During my college years, I worked two summers as a desk clerk for a resort in the Catskills. That’s where my boss taught me that one of the services we offered was listening to irrational whining. He explained that certain customers enjoy complaining. To them, it’s not so much about…

While I am hard at work in my office, I imagine that the rest of the world is working too. I like to think that we’re all doing our part to keep the economy humming along. This perspective makes it easier for me to put in the long hours. Occasionally…

Scientists are putting together an experiment to find out whether the present can influence the past. Theoretically, according to lots of guys with bad hair, physics allows that. But no one has proved it. Now some scientists think they have a way to do just that. If they succeed, they’ll…

I’m fairly certain that luck is the biggest component of success. I know it was for me. Dilbert succeeded because of a perfect storm involving a sluggish mid-nineties economy, the rise of technology workers, my stalled corporate career, the Internet, my lack of a personal life, accidentally appropriate talent, the…