Tag: General nonsense

Did you see this disturbing story in National Geographic? http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/03/070314-hybrids.html [no longer available] It turns out that sometimes two species can mate and produce a new species. This is the sort of news that makes bestiality less appealing. How many humans saw that story and said to themselves, “Uh-oh”? I…

I wonder who holds the record for being the victim of the most crimes. I might have a shot at that record. Here’s my list. – Assault by pistol (1)– Robbed by large knife (1)– Death threats (1)– Apartment robbed (2)– Garage robbed (2)– Embezzled (2)– Robbed at gunpoint (3)–…

Yesterday I was flying across the country. My biggest fear when flying isn’t that the jet might crash; it’s that I might end up sitting next to the World’s Most Annoying Man for five hours. Theoretically, such a person exists. I mean, SOMEONE has to be the most annoying man…

The best kind of personal defects are the ones that other people notice but you can’t. It’s bad enough to have a defect in the first place; there’s no point in having to think about it all the time. It’s bad for your self-esteem. For example, I envy the people…

Last night, at a social gathering, a friend mentioned in passing that water going down the drain north of the equator swirls in the opposite direction as south of the equator. I said it was an urban legend. He whipped out (figuratively) his doctorate degree in science and an explanation…

In a recent post, I talked about technology that is so wonderful it makes you say, “Too frickin’ cool!” Lately I have been experiencing the other kind: too frickin’ uncool. I’m in Indian Wells, California today. It’s an 82 minute flight from home. We were delayed at the airport for…

I’m at the Pacific Open tennis tournament in Indian Wells today and tomorrow (Fri and Sat) between 11 am and 3 pm. If you can find a friend of a friend of a friend who is at that tournament, and that person can find me, I will have a Sharpie…

From a marketing perspective, there’s a brilliant new game show on TV called Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? The host, Jeff Foxworthy, asks adults questions from topics covered in grade school. The adult can rely on a 5th grader for help up to three times. For example, Foxworthy…

Last night, the full moon was low and bright over the horizon on a clear California evening. It looked extra large. “Wow,” said my beautiful wife. “Look at the moon.” It was spectacular, perched above the silhouette of townhouses in the distance. One extroverted star and a wisp of night…

I’m a common variety of human being. By that, I mean that there are about a million guys who look like me. I see them all the time, and it creeps me out. This has gotten worse over the years. Now I also see younger people who look like me…

It’s my fault for bringing it up, but many of you asked about the most frequently asked questions of cartoonists. Here you go. 1. What newspaper first ran Dilbert? Dilbert is syndicated. That means my syndication company, United Media, tried to sell it to as many papers as it could,…

A few years ago I was doing something called a book tour. That’s when authors go around the country and do interviews and sign books to promote their newest work. I walked into one of the biggest bookstores in the country and was greeted by the store manager. She told…

What is up with these buried cities that archeologists keep discovering? I’m trying to figure out how a city gets buried unless a volcano is nearby. In my house, for example, when the crumbs on the kitchen floor reach ankle height, I start thinking about sweeping. Call me a neat…

Filmmaker James Cameron is claiming he and some archeologists found the tomb of Jesus’s family. All the casket-like things called ossuaries are empty. I wonder what the archeologists were thinking when they found an ossuary with Jesus’s name on it. I can imagine the moment they removed the lid and…

There are a number of web sites that contain quotes from various public figures including me. I was looking through my quotes (just Google “Scott Adams quotes” for a list) and was appalled. THOSE are my BEST quotes????? There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list,…