Tag: General nonsense

A reader pointed out this great collection of information about free will on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_will The funniest part of the article is that Einstein agreed there is no free will. That suggests a great bumpersticker that many of you should think about getting: “I disagreed with Einstein. And then I…

I have met quite a few horse lovers. My local area is full of them. They are all women. So what is up with women and horses? Women generally don’t enjoy activities that involve dirt, mud, hay, flies, bad odors, and huge piles of feces.  I realize I’m stereotyping here,…

I was nose snorkeling late last night and had a strange thought, even by my standards. Yes, I said nose snorkeling. That’s when you swim the breast stroke in calm water with your mouth below water and your nose above it. I just invented that term, I think. I can…

Yesterday I gave a humorous talk to a group of business people. Afterwards, a number of Dilbert fans asked for autographs on their program guides. I’m happy to sign autographs in person, but I feel bad doing it because I’m turning a perfectly good piece of future garbage into something…

True story: It was my senior year at Hartwick College, in upstate New York, February, 9 pm, ten below zero, a foot of snow, and my very used car decides to die. I’m on a new highway that few have yet discovered. There’s not another car in sight. I didn’t…

My favorite Mr. Boffo comic of all time featured Mr. Boffo (I assume) in a jail cell talking to his cellmate. He says about himself, “Nineteen arrests. Nineteen convictions. Maybe it’s me.” I come back to that philosophy often. You can only explain so many times why everyone else is…

If my religion were based on the teachings of Donald Trump, I would try to make a lot of money and keep it all. And I’d feel good about it because I was being true to my beliefs. I’d hate to go through life feeling like a hypocrite. Non-believers have…

As a writer, I’m always searching for those thoughts that everyone has but no one has yet expressed. It’s dangerous territory because there’s always a good chance that you’re the only freak in the world with that thought or that problem. I was heartened to discover from your prior blog…

Assuming evolution is true, I keep looking around to figure out which subset of humans is starting to split off from the species and form their own club. In theory, some group of humans will stop mating with outsiders and start mutating over generations until their teeth have little hands…

I worry about being rude and not even realizing it. I can usually control myself from being rude in obvious ways, but new grey areas keep popping up. For example, is it rude to fully recline my seat on an airplane, knowing it robs space from the guy behind me?…

The other day my brother asked why I was sending him an e-mail at 4 am. This is not unusual for me because I often have trouble sleeping. That night was typical. It went like this: First I was too hot to sleep. Then there was the nightmare of being…

Thanks for your many punchline suggestions. I had to delete the post and comments because frankly they made me sick. Here are three of my favorite entries: 1. True story, a well respected co-worker was rumored to have been caught eating leftover food out of the trash bin. 2. How…

If you want to see a lot of people go nuts, try moving the silent h in the word Gandhi when you post in your blog. I’ve done it twice now by spelling Gandhi as Ghandi. So while I was literally trying to end all war and terrorism on Earth,…

I don’t know of anyone over the age of 18 who wants to get older, despite all the studies showing that older people are happier than younger ones. I’ve always wondered why the elderly are so content, and now that I’m getting older myself, the mysteries are beginning to unfold….

If aliens landed in your backyard and gave you one minute to describe everything there is to know about human behavior, what would you say? I found an answer to that question today as I was looking through my old e-mails. This story was sent to me by a Dilbert…