Tag: General nonsense

There have been a lot of funny comments to my posts. My favorite so far is from Guy, in response to my question of whether Santa or Jesus would win in a fight: “And as for Santa and Jesus, the answer is Jesus. Because he can walk on water he…

Just for fun, look at the comments from the past few days on my topic of evolution and help me pick out the ones that are the most squirrel-brained. I’m not talking about the comments from people who are trying to be clever or funny. I mean the people who…

What’s the longest you’ve ever worn a shirt backwards without knowing? I don’t mean inside-out. That happens all the time, and you can go all day like that. People might even think it’s intentional. I’m talking about backwards, where the little label in the collar ends up under your chin….

You might think that the various parts of your body are all on the same team. Not true. Your back, for example, hates your guts. The way you can tell that your back is evil is that it never warns you when it’s about to give you a painful, life-altering…

One of the downsides of interacting with other people is that they keep uncovering defects I never knew I had. For example, I recently discovered that I can’t learn to gamble. Sure, I can put coins in a slot and push a button with the best of the grizzled old…

Here’s some more ammo to stir up things at your next gathering of inebriated relatives. Ask the following question: Who is holier – Mother Teresa or Bill Gates? Set the scene by pointing out that on Mother Teresa’s side of the ledger is her lifetime of spiritual inspiration and her…

There are many fascinating mysteries in this universe. I choose to ignore all of them and instead focus my sense of wonder on the following question: Why do female real estate agents have bizarre hairstyles? You know what I’m talking about: poofy, disturbingly large, a death rattle from the sixties….

If you’re reading The Dilbert Blog on Christmas day, your family probably hates you.* But that’s okay because I still love you. Have a great holiday. Or failing in that, just hold on until January. You can make it. Scott * Not counting you two, Mom and Dad.

I’m a busy fellow. My normal day is 100% scheduled, including weekends. Christmas requires an additional 20% of my time for about a month, which I manage by eliminating sleep, exercise, recreation and physical intimacy. In return, I get presents that sit in a huge pile for weeks while I…

Several people left comments here alerting me to the fact that I’m ranked as the #12 Influential Management Thinker in the world. No, seriously. Here’s the web site that shows the rankings. http://www.thinkers50.com/ My first reaction was to feel sorry for the poor bastards who ranked 13 through 50. I…

In an earlier post I taught you my formula for humor. I also taught you how to dance. And I taught you the meaning of life. I hope you didn’t miss that last one. The only thing left is teaching you fashion. Fashion is essentially dressing in a way that…

Several of you asked about the sequel to God’s Debris. It’s called The Religion War, and here’s a link to Amazon.com if you want to get it there: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0740747886/103-2907226-8156634?n=283155 That clickable link is also included at the end of God’s Debris. Scott

Several years ago I found myself nutsack deep in flaming e-mails for my prediction that illegal downloads of music would lead to lower sales of CDs. It seemed obvious to me, but scores of illegal music downloaders and self-proclaimed marketing geniuses argued vehemently that these “free samples” would lead to…

Have you noticed that people become incredibly angry every December? My e-mail and blog comments become a flaming cesspool at this time of year, and by that I mean more than usual. I delete the worst blog comments that are just personal attacks. Believe me, there are a lot of…

With all the debate about Intelligent Design, I started to wonder if intelligence is overrated. In particular, are intelligent people happier than unintelligent people? If you were to rank the following two hypothetical individuals by happiness, what order would you put them in? Dentists are generally pretty smart and they…