Did you see the story about the Sudanese man who was caught having sex with a goat? The council of elders forced him to marry the goat as his punishment. Apparently, man and goat are living happily ever after, except for the goat, who is still getting cornholed by a crazy Sudanese guy, but now he has to wash dishes with his hooves.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/ukfs_news/hi/newsid_4740000/newsid_4748200/4748292.stm
In related news, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband claims he had an affair with the goat too.
Having a goat wife might come in handy. You could carry a Dixie Cup with you, folded up in your pocket, and any time you got thirsty, you could just reach over and yank a nice warm cup of goat milk. That might not sound delicious to you, but in Sudan, warm goat milk is a delicacy, second only to humping the goat. Unless it’s a boy goat, in which case it’s considered a close third.
I wonder what the perp’s defense was. I think I would have claimed I was performing an experiment in churning goat butter without using a churn. I would probably say something about Galileo being persecuted for his genius too. Or maybe I would try to make the council of elders laugh by saying, “The goat looked horny. Get it? He has horns!”
Anyway, this story raises many interesting issues about property rights. The owner obviously felt wronged when he saw his neighbor going all Lego on his goat. Why?
Evidently it wasn’t a bestiality issue, since the council of elders forced the perpetrator to marry the goat. And it wasn’t concern for the goat’s wellbeing, since marrying a goat-humper isn’t a step in the right direction. So what was the problem?
Was the owner planning to butcher the goat, and didn’t want his goatburgers to have any special sauce?
Was the owner mad because he was saving the goat for himself?
There was no damage to the goat, unless you count some stretching. Having sex with your neighbor’s goat is a lot like violating a copyright. It’s totally victimless, right?
Go.