I know there’s something wrong with me because I worry about all the wrong things. For example, I spend a lot of time worrying about the shielding on my microwave oven. Whenever I stand within ten feet of it, I’m sure I feel my spleen heating up. And when the microwave is turned on, I’m even more worried.
On the other hand, I can’t generate any healthy fear about Iran developing a nuclear bomb. I realize that’s exactly the sort of thing I should be worried about. But for me, something is missing.
Iran’s highest religious authority – I think he’s called the Grand Ottoman, or whatever – issued a fatwa saying that his followers are prohibited from building a nuclear bomb. It seems to me that if the Iranians wanted to lie about their secret program, they’d let their politicians do it. After all, that’s their job. There’s no reason to get the Grand Ottoman into the lie and erode his credibility. Because later, when he issues a ruling that, for example, everyone must bang his head with a porcelain unicorn, the citizens will wonder if this is one of the real fatwa or the kidding type.
Now if you’ll excuse me, today is laundry day and I need to make some new shirts out of aluminum foil.