Have you noticed that people become incredibly angry every December? My e-mail and blog comments become a flaming cesspool at this time of year, and by that I mean more than usual.
I delete the worst blog comments that are just personal attacks. Believe me, there are a lot of them. It’ll calm down by mid February when bad weather turns that anger into debilitating depression. I’m looking forward to that. All I ask from life is that I be slightly less miserable than the people who hate me. I call that winning.
The thing that’s pissing me off lately is television shirts. I’m talking about the shirts worn by actors who are in my general age range, give or take 10 years. I look to television to inform me about how to act and what to wear, and it’s doing a bad job.
Adult male actors wear only three kinds of shirts on TV:
- Shirts that I have never seen in any store
- Shirts that are hideous, primarily on “Joey”
- Button-down casual shirts worn open and untucked over t-shirts
The first category is impossible to find. The second is undesirable, and the third is worn exclusively by men on television. I don’t want people to look at me and say, “So, I guess the plumber on Desperate Housewives is your role model, eh?”
In real life, men my age wear fashions designed by Crappy McPooponyou. That’s pretty much all you can find at stores. When I shop online, I find items that look fabulous as long as they are three inches square and you can’t touch them. I’ve ordered so many bad shirts over the Internet that I finally gave away my bed and now I sleep on the pile-o-disappointing-shirts.
In tomorrow’s blog I will solve this shirt problem, with your help.