President Bush has unveiled his plan to achieve the top goal of his presidency: a popularity rating of zero. The only risk to his plan is if this Iraqi “surge” concept actually works. So let’s examine his chances.
On the American side, all we have to do is stretch the military to the point of breaking, spend tens of billions of dollars, and do what has never been done, i.e. secure a major Iraqi city and let the highly capable Iraqi government forces hold it. And popularity-wise, it would be helpful to do that without any casualties. This is the same successful strategy that has brought democracy to several blocks in Kabul, except at night.
On the flip side, the insurgents will be faced with the insurmountable task of going on vacation outside of Baghdad until all the surging is finished. Then they can wander back, all tanned and rested, and pick up where they left off. They might face some stiff resistance from the three or four Iraqi government forces who inadvertently shoot in their general direction, but that will allow the insurgents some much needed practice in torturing and kidnapping. It’s good to stay sharp.
When I see President Bush’s plunging popularity ratings, I wonder at what point Buddy the Whitehouse dog will just go all rabies on his ass. And the Whitehouse briefings will be funny too:
Pollster: “Well, Mr. President, your popularity is still zero. We don’t recommend that you eat anything from the Whitehouse kitchen, and there’s a good chance that the Secret Service guys will take matters into their own hands. We recommend that you get chummy with Castro before he dies so that maybe you’ll get some benefit from association. Or failing in that, maybe you’ll catch whatever he has.”
I’m off to another day of voice rehabilitation. So far, I can hum really well.