One of the curses of wedding planning is the whole gift-giving dilemma. This is especially acute for people like my fiancée and me because for us, all material goods fall into one of these categories.
1. Already have it
2. Don’t need it
3. Too expensive for a gift
4. What the hell is it?
We could tell people “no gifts,” but that would cause them to fret about whether other people will give us gifts anyway. Or they’ll have to think twice as hard to come up with a gift that is thoughtful and not a gifty gift. That piles uncertainty atop inconvenience and expense. That doesn’t seem fair.
My friend Josh advised me that it’s easier for everyone if we simply register at some store so people can choose from the list. This process involves spending many hours online selecting merchandise that we don’t need and won’t fit in the house. And that brings me to the biggest problem.
Two kids and a fiancée planted flags on all the good space in our home before I moved in. I have complete domain over three horizontal feet of closet space, three drawers, and the front left corner of a night stand. I park my car at my office a block away. I managed to tuck my tennis bag between the dresser and the TV stand but I don’t expect that to last.
Consequently, any new item that enters the house either has to be nailed to the ceiling or – and this is the part I fear – I have to throw away something. As the person in the household who has the lowest attachment to possessions, I figure my stuff will be the first to go. That means that when my fiancée and I shop for stuff to include in our gift registry, we have entirely different feelings about each potential item:
Fiancee: “Hmm, this toaster is 2% better than the one we have. Let’s add it to the list. And we’ll keep the old one as a backup.”
Me: “There goes my tennis bag.”